One of my most prayed prayers since losing Joel has been that Jesus would come be my Good Samaritan; that He would bind up my gaping wounds and pour in the healing oil of His Holy Spirit into my crushed heart.
Sometimes I feel Him take my hand and the warm oil of His Holy Spirit rushing in, others I feel like I am drowning, alone in a sea of tears.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18
In the beginning… God introduced Himself as Creator. It’s such an important concept; one the enemy of our souls has fought so hard to take from us.
He created us
In His own image.
He KNOWS us.
He LOVES us.
We have purpose.
The Eternal One has
Breathed us to life.
We were created for Eternity.
No one KNOWS us like our Creator does.
To love someone you have to know them.
to make Abba known
to experience our suffering
to transform it into redemption.
One of the things that has brought healing into my life has been creating; making quilts, needle arts, drawing, painting signs, scrapbooking, and digital art. There is something about taking time to see and to touch created things while listening to my Creator and allowing Him to create something new through me that is healing.
One of the first things that I created after losing Joel was a bracelet. I made it using beads from a broken necklace and two bracelets I seldom wore. Something new created out of brokenness. I call it and another bracelet that I made and now wear often my chains of hope.
This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:19-20
My recreated bracelet wraps around my wrist like a tourniquet representing the tourniquet my Good Samaritan is wrapping around my wounded heart.
The stone and glass beads create a band of color that reminds me that there is still color in the world after all the color leaked out of my broken heart and all that was left was gray and muddled. I only recently noticed how muddled even it’s colors are.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
There is key on one side representing the key to my heart given to my Lord and a guitar pick on the other (for my heavenly guitar player) decoupaged with portions of
How lovely is Your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints.
for the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh cry out
and sing for joy to the living God…
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
“Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them.
They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain,
for the old order of things has passed away.”
He who was seated on the throne said,
“I am making everything new!”
Then he said, “Write this down,
for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Together they create a set of wings for my soul.
Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Psalm 55:6
Late last summer, I felt the Lord drawing me to start painting as a creative way to heal. A short time later, I learned about a new Facebook group started by Shanna Noel of shannanoel.blogspot.com that is creating worshipful art journaling in the margins of their Bibles.
It has become my happy place. 7000 members who love the Lord and His Word and purposely set aside time to prayerfully meditate His word and express their hearts to Him in art. 7000 members and growing. Many tell prodigal stories of reading the Word for the first time.. and others share what they are now teaching their children; happy joy.
I bought myself some watercolors and pens with my birthday money. And yesterday I created my first painting. I amazed myself, and that doesn’t happen often. James was impressed and encouraged me to include my bracelet in my painting because it is “me.” Judi said I needed lessons. Ouch. With that repeated, I won’t be pointing out my mistakes. 🙂
“Deeper” by Delirious? had been on my heart for several days. When I first heard it over 10 years ago, it inspired me to take the kids down to our neighborhood pool, face my fear, and jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. Not exactly the smartest thing.. because I really “don’t know how to swim” but how I long to dive deeper into God.
It’s a painting of what I am choosing to believe. Mostly what I feel is the drowning and the trying without success.. not a lot of the holding, and lifting, and saving.
Although, I had imagined Him rescuing me many times, actually painting God’s arm was a truly spiritual experience.
I felt His presence;
His flesh pushing through the heavens for me.
Painting was an act of lifting up my colorful chains of hope.. of pointing the wings of my soul towards my Help and He responded by giving me a little deeper revelation of Himself.
1 O God, you are my God;
earnestly will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
my whole body longs for You
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen You in the sanctuary,
beheld your power and glory.
3 Your steadfast love is better than life,
so, my lips will praise you.
4 I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 You satisfy more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of You,
meditating on you through the night.
7 Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 My whole being follows hard after You
and clings closely to You;
Your right hand holds me securely.
Thankful for my Creator Abba, Who so loved me that He sent Jesus to became flesh and rescue me.