Through Every Season

Tag: Loss of Joel (Page 1 of 7)

Preaching the Gospel to Myself: Fighting to Stand Firm

The Battle for Perspective  

I have many precious friends and family members celebrating Jesus’ birthday with Him in Heaven. My deep love and longing to be reunited with them can easily reduce me to tears. A battle is waged over my perspective, how I will interpret my experience, the script I will recite to myself daily, and where I will take the pain of our separation. Do I see Jesus gently shepherding us through this valley of the shadow of death or do I see us abandoned and alone? Do I see my loved ones in Heaven celebrating Jesus’ birthday with Him or as cold, lifeless, dead in the grave? Are my eyes fixed on God’s deep, sacrificial love displayed for us in Jesus or is He an uncaring ogre in my eyes?

It takes prayer, spiritual eyes, and time in God’s Word for a broken heart to see and embrace the truths of the gospel: God is good. He loves us. God sent His Son to redeem us. God allows brokenness in our sinful world for His good purposes. He is near the brokenhearted.

The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise as some understand slowness, but is longsuffering toward you, not wanting anyone to be destroyed but everyone to come to repentance.”

2 Peter 3:9

Posting Gospel Reminders on My Walls Helps

My Place of Refuge Shapes My Life

My perspective greatly influences how I interpret my experience and where I run with the pain in my heart. The place I take refuge will shape the remainder of my life. 

A gospel perspective is formed by rehearsing gospel truths. 

The only thing that keeps the dark gravitational pull of this broken world from dragging me into its abyss is asking God to open my eyes to see gospel truths in His Word as I meditate on it. I must choose to believe His truths as He reveals them to me. I must cling to their light and make them the script spoken over my life by rehearsing them daily. Or swallowed by darkness, back turned against an imagined ogre god, my script and my reality would become that I am alone, unloved, and miserable. 

Taking up My Cross

After Thanksgiving this year, my thoughts traveled to the events that led to the murder of our youngest son after Thanksgiving 11 years ago. My longing for things to be different led to a tremendous struggle and anguish. In those hours, I desperately wanted off the altar of endurance and simultaneously knew that my only hope for rest was to surrender everything, including myself, as a living sacrifice to God.

I took myself back to the days of Jesus’ anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane and begged God for the strength to make the altar of “yet not my will, but yours be done” my own. I don’t know how or exactly when, but before the day was done, God answered my prayer and enabled me to renew my surrender and trust of all things to His sovereign wisdom, mercy and grace.

Fighting to Stand Firm

I am very thankful for that victory and I am actively fighting to stand firm in it by carefully guarding and nurturing my heart. I continually take my heart to the foot of the cross and ask Jesus to help me see and experience His great love for me. I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and faithfully preach the gospel to myself.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and death will be no more nor mourning nor crying nor pain;
they will be no more, because the former things have passed away.

And the One seated on the throne said,
“Behold, I make all things new.”
Then He said, “Write this down,
for these words are faithful and true.”

Revelation 21:4-5

Beautiful Memories: Tastes of the Beauty to Come

When a memory catches my heart and renews my longing to be reunited with my loved ones, I take a deep breath and remind myself that our suffering is only momentary and the glory it is producing far outweighs it all (2 Corinthians 4:17). God will generously restore all the good gifts of time with our loved ones to us multiplied by INFINITY. Gifts received here are only a taste, a shadow, of the wonderful gifts God has prepared for those who love Him. 

Our present lives are “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14). “Life and breath and everything else,” “our appointed times” and “boundaries,” are all gifts given to us that we might “seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. ‘For in Him we live and move and have our being’” (Acts 17:25-28, Matthew 6:27).

1 Corinthians 15 tells us that the perishable bodies of “those who belong to Him” are planted like a “seed,” “changed” “in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet,” “raised in glory” and “power,” “spiritual,”  “raised imperishable” and “clothed” “with immortality.” 

Presently death stings… but then, OH GLORIOUS THEN, “the saying that is written will come to pass: ‘Death has been swallowed up in victory.’” – 1 Corinthians 15:54b

“Thanks be to God,” THANKS BE TO GOD!!!!! “who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!” – 1 Corinthians 15:57

We Must Persevere In His Victory 

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast and immovable. Always excel in the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

1 Corinthians 15:58

“So let us know—let us press on to know the LORD. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the earth.”

Hosea 6:3

“You need to persevere, so that after you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For, ‘In just a little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay.’”

Hebrews 10:37

Encourage Yourself and One Another

The darkness is growing stronger and the gospel is needed more than ever. I cannot express how necessary and impactful surrounding myself with encouraging believers has been. I speak the truth in love and work to encourage others because I need to hear the truth spoken in love and the encouragement of others. 

“Let us not neglect meeting together, as is the habit of some, but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Hebrews 10:25

Abiding in His Love for us,

Jenny Coleman

Learning to Pray Again: In Concert with the Psalms

My heart is heavy. How do I pray?

I’ve been asking the Lord to teach me how to pray. I pray a lot, but my prayers feel minuscule compared to the needs in the lives of those on my heart. We have a big God who is able to do more than we ask or imagine, but how do I know when I’ve done my job of asking well?

Prayer after losing a child or a different crushing “No” from God often feels contentious, full of sighs and groans beyond what words can express. I often don’t know how to pray as I ought, but I know I am not alone in my groaning. The “Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).

A year or so ago, I was seeking the Lord for how to pray for a friend going through cancer treatments. Reading this verse freed me to pray as I really wanted to pray:

“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”

Hebrews 13:3


Earlier this week, while meditating on these verses:

“Because Jesus lives forever, He has a permanent priesthood. Therefore He is able to save completely those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to intercede for them.”

Hebrews 7:24-25

I asked myself, “How do I live and pray as though Jesus ‘always lives to intercede’ on our behalf?”

I want to come to God boldly, yet clothed heavily with humility; in a wisdom that is not my own, but the Spirit’s; with my whole heart, yet wholly surrendered to His will; with dedication, perseverance and a heart of obedience.

Joining in the Prayers of the Saints

I’ve been meditating on how we are connected to the body of Christ… not just our local church body, but to those who have longed for Jesus’ appearing through the centuries. I’ve also be thinking about how Jesus, His disciples and millions of believers throughout history have used the Psalms as a prayer and hymn book. I thought about how Jesus must have felt praying Psalm 22 in His darkest hour and how it must have comforted Him to have the prayers of the saints joining His.

It’s incredible to realize that I hold within my hands the very words and prayers that God has given His people to pray, the prayers and songs that people from many nations have prayed and continue to pray in many languages. I want to join in that fellowship. I want to pray in communion with Jesus and all the saints in Heaven and on earth. In my minds’ eye I can almost see a chorus of prayers resonating up to the throne room. I want to take part in that fragrant offering (Psalm 141:2, Revelation 8:4).

Learning to Pray the Psalms

While praying the Psalms is not completely new to me, I have a lot to learn. I enjoy praying, singing and meditating on my morning walks and decided to look for a podcast on praying the Psalms to help slowly guide me through them. I found two that I am enjoying so far.

To help me learn each Psalm well, first I have a Bible app read it aloud to me several times through (sometimes in more than one version). Then I listen to the podcast produced by Doxa Church in Madison, Washington in 2020 called Praying the Psalms where a minister shares commentary on a Psalm followed by a prayer. Finally, I listen, pray and sing along with the Psalms Project’s podcast where they read a Psalm and play a song based on verses from it. I’ve added several of their songs to my personal play list. You may learn more about their effort to produce a song for every Psalm here: https://thepsalmsproject.com/

Two talks on prayer that really touched me this week:

Doxa Church’s commentary on Psalm 5

Corrie ten Boom’s talk on prayer.

Questions to consider:

Do your prayers feel minuscule?

Have you asked Jesus to teach you how to pray?

Have you surrendered your inability to pray to Holy Spirit’s groanings?

How does it make you feel to know that Jesus “always lives to intercede” for you?

Would joining your prayers with the chorus of the prayers and songs of the saints make a difference in your prayer life?

Has a podcast or a study on the Psalms impacted your prayers?

Please, share 💕

In His Love,

Jenny Coleman

Finding Comfort in God’s Sovereignty

Immediately after Joel was murdered, the one thing that most comforted me was my belief in God’s sovereign control over our lives. Joel’s life had not been cut short. God had ordained the number of his days from before he was born (Psalm 139:16) and intentionally allowed Joel to be murdered that night for His good purposes. The young man who shot and killed Joel had evil intentions and will be held accountable by God for what he did, but God’s intentions and purposes are always good.

“And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

We live in a fallen world that has been very broken by human rebellion and sinfulness, but it is not a world abandoned by God nor outside of His control.

We should hate the sin and the results of sin that destroy the lives of those around us and love and bless the God who has not cast us into the utter darkness that we deserve, but sent His beloved Son to humble Himself being made in human likeness and live as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, Who though sorrowful to the point of death, accepted His Father’s will and endured rejection, beatings, crucifixion, the wrath and abandonment of our Heavenly Father and even Hell on our behalf. We should praise the God who declares the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10), Who offers redemption through the resurrection of His Son, the God Who is compassionate and not slow in keeping His promise, but patient with us not wanting anyone to be destroyed, but that all should come to repentance and be saved (2 Peter 3:9). 

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?

2 My help comes from the Yahweh, the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber.

4 Behold, the Protector of Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Yahweh is your keeper; the Yahweh is the shade on your right hand.

6 The sun will not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

7 The Yahweh will guard you from all evil; He will preserve your soul.

8 The Yahweh will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore.

Yahweh, Maker of heaven and earth is our Helper. Our Protector was not asleep at 9 PM the night Joel was murdered. He kept and guarded Joel and guided him from the presence of evil into peace and rest (Isaiah 57:1-2). He watched over Joel’s coming and going and preserved Joel’s soul. This is who God is. This is what God does. I have seen God help, work, protect, and watch over us throughout our lives. His love never fails. He is sovereign. All power and glory and honor are His.

Though Joel’s death broke my heart and I did not understand God’s ways that night, I knew that nothing could separate us from His love, not “trouble or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword,” not a stranger with an AK57, nor “death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35, 38-39).

While interacting with others through the months that followed Joel’s death, I began to realize that not everyone believed in God’s sovereign control the way I did. In their minds, the devil had won a battle, God’s hands were somehow tied by a mere human’s choice or the devil’s schemes, God’s good and perfect plans for our lives had been derailed, and he was powerless or had chosen not to do anything about it. It comforted them to believe that life and death was left to mortal whim while it was unthinkable to me that Joel could have died outside of our sovereign Heavenly Father’s will.

I don’t believe they thought through the implications of their beliefs. If God is not sovereign over all, then He cannot be sovereign. If God is not sovereign, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, wise, good and kind then He cannot be trusted to keep His Word and verses like these offer no real comfort:

“But I trust in You, O Yahweh; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in Your hands.” 

Psalm 31:14-15

“Preserve me, O God, for in You I take refuge.”

Psalm 16:1 

“Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings.” 

Psalm 17:8 

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be.”

Psalm 139:16

“Even to your old age, I will be the same, and I will bear you up when you turn gray. I have made you, and I will carry you; I will sustain you and deliver you.” 

Isaiah 46:4

“Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.”

Matthew 10:29 

“And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:7

How can God be faithful and true to His Word if a mere human’s will or the devil’s schemes can prevent Him from preserving, keeping, ordaining, sustaining and delivering us? How can He be trusted to keep His promises? How can we know He is preparing a place for us and will one day return to rescue us? How can His ways be higher and His plans never thwarted if He is not sovereign over all? How could I take any comfort in God or His Word at all? 

I wrestled while they slept. God’s sovereignty, man’s meaningful choice, and the problem of evil became a topic I needed to study and continue to study. Reading the writings of fellow Christian sufferers like Corrie ten Boom, Elisabeth Elliot, Joni Eareckson Tada, John Piper, Paul David Tripp, Tim Keller, Charles Spurgeon, Philip Yancey, and others confirmed what I had originally believed. Reading through their logic and the scriptures and seeing how comforted others were by God’s sovereignty over all things comforted me. My husband and I are currently reading Randy Alcorn’s “If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil.” We highly recommend Randy’s books regularly. If you are looking for a book specifically on how God’s sovereignty works with meaningful choice we recommend his, “hand in Hand: The Beauty of God’s Sovereignty and Meaningful Human Choice.” 

I believe in meaningful human choice that includes repercussions, responsibly and accountability and I believe in God’s sovereignty over all things. I believe the wisdom and lovingkindness of God’s character shine through every bit of His sovereignty though I lack the perspective to see and understand it all now. I believe that though I have to “live by faith, not by sight” (1 Corinthians 13:12) now, “then we will see everything with perfect clarity” (2 Corinthians 5:7). “I know that my Redeemer lives, and in the end He will stand upon the earth. Even after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God. I will see Him for myself; my eyes will behold Him, and not as a stranger. How my heart yearns within me!” Job 19:25-27

In the “coming ages” God will “display the surpassing riches of His grace, demonstrated by His kindness to us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:7). And I will be amazed at the beautiful way He has been “working all things together for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28).

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 

2 Corinthians 4:6

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory, far beyond any comparison. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

A few resources:

An article written shortly after Joel’s death and the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that I found especially helpful: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/confronting-the-problems-of-evil

Randy’s “If God is Good” chapter summaries:
https://www.epm.org/resources/2009/Dec/17/IGIG-Chapter-Summaries/


A few quotes I often re-read: 

“Either God rules, or Satan sets the world’s agenda and God is limited to reacting. In which case, the Almighty would become Satan’s clean-up boy, sweeping up after the devil has trampled through and done his worst, finding a way to wring good out of the situation somehow. But it wasn’t his best plan for you, wasn’t plan A, wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. In other words, although God would manage to patch things up, your suffering itself would be meaningless.” 

Joni Eareckson Tada, When God Weeps p 84

“It would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by his hand, that my trials were never measured out by him, nor sent to me by his arrangement of their weight and quantity.” 

C. H. Spurgeon

“The sovereignty of God is the pillow upon which the child of God rests his head at night, giving perfect peace.”

C. H. Spurgeon

“When terrible things happen, there are two choices, and only two:  We can trust God, or we can defy Him.  We believe that God is God, He’s still got the whole world in His hands and knows exactly what He’s doing, or we must believe that He is not God and that we are at the awful mercy of mere chance.” 

Elisabeth Elliot

“I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned “portion.” (“This belongs to it, that does not”)? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives.” 

Elisabeth Elliot

“Number one, God brought me here.  It is by His will that I am in this place.  In that fact I will rest.  Number two, He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.  Number three, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends for me to learn and working in me the grace He means to bestow.  Number four, in His good time He can bring me out again.  How and when, He knows.  So, let me say I am here.”

Andrew Murray

“When my plans crumble and God takes me away from my dreams, I must trust in God’s infinite wisdom.  When my cup of suffering seems too much to bear, I need to rest in his immeasurable love.  When my life spins out of control, I need to remember God’s absolute sovereignty.”

Vaneetha Rendall Risner, The Scars that have Shaped Me, page 73

“There’s great clarity in seeing the sovereignty and wisdom of God held together. We learn that nothing happens by chance, or passes outside God’s plans. Everything filters through His wisdom. This helps weary sufferers to remember that our pains and afflictions are not pointless.” 

Erik Reed, Uncommon Trust, page 46

“So while it is not inaccurate to say that God allows evil and suffering, it is inadequate, and perhaps misleading, to limit God’s involvement in suffering to this word, suggesting that he only passively (and perhaps reluctantly, we hope) gives permission. In fact, there are only a handful of scriptural passages where the text itself says that God ‘allowed’ or ‘permitted’ difficulty or harm, while many more indicate that God sent, intended, brought about, planned, caused, or gave experiences of suffering to his people for some purpose (Deuteronomy 32:39; 2 Samuel 12:15; Psalm 66:10-12; Isaiah 45:7; Jeremiah 46:28; Jonah 2:3; Matthew 4:1; 1 Peter 3:17).”

Nancy Guthrie, Hearing Jesus Speak in Your Sorrow, Page 78

“Although the sovereignty of God is universal and absolute, it is not the sovereignty of blind power. It is coupled with infinite wisdom, holiness and love. And this doctrine, when properly understood, is a most comforting and reassuring one. Who would not prefer to have his affairs in the hands of a God of infinite power, wisdom, holiness and love, rather than to have them left to fate, or chance, or irrevocable natural law, or to short-sighted and perverted self? Those who reject God’s sovereignty should consider what alternatives they have left.

Loraine Boettner

Leave it in the Hand and Mystery of God.

“I was preparing to go to Nyack College. Before I left there was one burning question I had in mind, and I went to Dr. Tozer and said, Could you give me some advice concerning the problem of Calvinism versus Arminianism?

“And I’ll never forget the advice he gave me. At the time I thought it was rather inconclusive and not too helpful. But I listened carefully. He said, ‘My son, when you get to college you’re going to find that all of the boys will be gathered in a room discussing and arguing over Arminianism and Calvinism night after night after night. I’ll tell you what to do, Cliff. Go to your room and meet God. At the end of four years you’ll be way down the line and they’ll still be where they started, because greater minds than yours have wrestled with this problem and have not come up with satisfactory conclusions. Instead, learn to know God.’”

The Life of A.W. Tozer: In Pursuit of God, James L. Snyder page 132

A few Scriptures to consider:

As for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are this day. 

Genesis 50:19 

See now that I am He; there is no God besides Me. I bring death and I give life; I wound and I heal, and there is no one who can deliver from My hand.

Deuteronomy 32:39 

The Lord foils the plans of the nations; He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:10-11

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails

Proverbs 19:21

The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; He guides it wherever He pleases

Proverbs 21:1 

I know that You can do all things and that no plan of Yours can be thwarted.

Job 42:2 

Remember what happened long ago, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me. I declare the end from the beginning, and ancient times from what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and all My good pleasure I will accomplish.’ I summon a bird of prey from the east, a man for My purpose from a far-off land. Truly I have spoken, and truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, and I will surely do it.

Isaiah 46:9-11

He [Jesus] was delivered up by God’s set plan and foreknowledge, and you, by the hands of the lawless, put Him to death by nailing Him to the cross. 

Acts 2:23 

God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that He is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed any thing, seeing He giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; God intended that they would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” 

Acts 17:24-28 

Much Love,

Jenny

Beholding God’s Wondrous Suffering Love

I have known and loved Jesus from a very young age. He has been my friend through many trials. But my first question after experiencing the murder of my youngest son was, “Is God sensitive to just how painful the suffering He is allowing really is? He is God. Does He feel pain? Does He understand the pain in my heart?” I needed someone safe to take my pain to. “Was God safe? Was I alone in my pain?”

Our world has been so very broken by our sinful rebellion against God. We have all foolishly rejected God and gone our own way and the only way that can end is in death.

Our gracious Heavenly Father knew before He created us that the only way for us to truly love Him was to give us free will. He knew we would rebel. He knew His great love for us would cost Him His own dear Son’s life and still chose to create us.

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:13

This is who God is, has always been, and will always be. He is a God of great intention. He is sacrificial love.

“Was God safe? Was I alone in my pain?” The only way I could discover the trustworthiness and faithfulness of God for myself was to press in. I had to draw near to God. I had to begin taking all my tears and sorrows to Him in prayer. I had to ask Holy Spirit to help me hear, see and know God. I had to search for the Truth in the scriptures. I had to allow Him into my pain before I could no longer be alone, before I could learn that He was safe. 

My sweet husband bought this painting by Greg Collins for me for Joel’s birthday this year 💕


It is only through opening ourselves up to feel our own pain, that we can begin to open ourselves up to feel the pain of another. We cannot understand how deeply someone feels pain until we open ourselves up to feel it.

It is only through my willingness to embrace my own pain and tears and through my willingness to sit with God in prayer and with Holy Spirit as I read the scriptures that I was able to begin to open up to and understand a little of how much Jesus suffered as a man, not only on the cross but through many painful trials. It was only through Jesus, Holy Spirit and His Word that I could begin to see our merciful Father. It was only through this process that I could learn how very deeply our precious Heavenly Father loves us, and is longsuffering, patient, and gracious towards us. 

What I have seen of God’s suffering love is wondrous to behold.

I cannot see or taste it for you. I can only tell you that His love is deeper and greater than I can comprehend. It is beautiful and consuming. I want to be near Him and somehow more like Him. Nothing compares to Him. Having seen a little, I want to behold, contemplate, know and be conformed into His likeness.

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

Philippians 3:10-11


Jesus has opened up a way:

“Whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.”

2 Corinthians 3:16

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18


All we have to do is turn to Him. Turn to Him with your pain. Turn away from going your own way. Ask Holy Spirit to open your bind eyes, that you might see Jesus. Ask Him to show you the Father through Him. Ask Him to show you His glory and transform you into His image.

“So let us know—let us press on to know the LORD. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the earth.”

Hosea 6:3


He comes to us and refreshes us as we draw near to Him in prayer and meditate on His Word.

Yesterday, I beheld His beautiful suffering love through these words:

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5)
The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His nature,
upholding all things by His powerful word. (Hebrews 1:3)
Who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped
but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant being made in human likeness (Philippians 2:6-7)
made like His brothers in every way (Hebrews 2:17)
He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and misguided,
since He Himself is beset by weakness (Hebrews 5:2)
[able] to sympathize with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15)
He humbled Himself (Philippians 2:8)
He Himself suffered (Hebrews 2:18)
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.
Like one from whom men hide their faces, He was despised, and we esteemed Him not. (Isaiah 53:3)
He offered up prayers and pleadings with loud cries and tears to the One who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission. (Hebrews 5:7)
yet we considered Him stricken by God, struck down and afflicted.(Isaiah 53:3)
Surely He took on our infirmities and carried our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4)
and became obedient to death— even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:8)
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
Although He was God’s Son, He learned obedience from what He suffered. (Hebrews 5:8)
having been made perfect through suffering (Hebrews 2:10, 5:9)
the Lamb who was slain from the foundation of the world (Revelation 13:8)
the Author of our Salvation (Hebrews 2:10)
became the Source of Eternal Salvation to all who obey Him (Hebrews 5:9)
After He had provided purification for sins,
He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high (Hebrews 1:3)
a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God (Hebrews 2:17)
Because Jesus lives forever, He has a permanent priesthood.
Therefore He is able to save completely those who draw near to God through Him,
since He always lives to intercede for them (Hebrews 7:24-25)

May the Lord bless you and keep you in His Wondrous Suffering Love,

Jenny

Awaken Us! A Psalm of Jenny’s Lament

Lord, How long?
So, so long have I waited.
I have longed, hungered,
And searched for You.

I have sought Your face O, Lord,
Not Your hem alone, but Your face.
My heart has longed after You,
After a look from Your eyes, after your face.

I have sought after You, O, Lord
While my enemies pointed at me and jeered.
They accused me again and again of sin,
They cast blame at my sorrowful, longing heart.

I wrestled without sleep.
I wept upon my bed.
I wailed to You, my Only Hope.
I waited day after day for You to turn my way.

I forgave.
I turned my cheek.
I remembered the saints of old,
And I prayed, and I prayed.

You answered, O, Lord.
You answered my groaning
With groans of Your own!
You answered!

Hear our prayers, O, Lord,
Don’t allow us to sleep in spiritual death.
Give light to our eyes,
Give us the Light of Your Son!

Open our eyes, O, Lord,
That we may see Your salvation,
That we may see the depth of Your love
At the Cross, O, Lord, at the cross!

Open our eyes, O, Lord,
That we may see Your Way,
Your Truth, Your Life;
Awaken our hearts to Your love!

Awaken us from the Curse of this earth,
Awaken us to the urgency of Your call.
Awaken us to heal the brokenhearted,
Awaken us to Your glory over all!

I will sing of Your goodness,
I will sing of Your saving love!
I will sing of Your glory!
I will sing until You awaken us all!

– Jenny Coleman

I’m in a bereaved parent discussion group that is studying “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy” by Mark Vroegrop. We are learning how to live “in the tension of pain beyond belief and divine sovereignty beyond comprehension” (p. 84) by turning to the Lord following the pattern for lament modeled for us in Scripture . I modeled my lament after the passages below:

Psalm 13
1 How long, O LORD?
Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart each day?
How long will my enemy dominate me?

3 Consider me and respond, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes rejoice when I fall.

5 But I have trusted in Your loving devotion;
my heart will rejoice in Your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for He has been good to me.

I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those sanctified by faith in Me.

Acts 26:17-18

Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not comparable to the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the revelation of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not by its own will, but because of the One who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until the present time. 23 Not only that, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved; but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he can already see? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet see, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words. 27 And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Voices of saints through the centuries have cried out in lament. The whole creation groans. “Not only that, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. …In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words,” (Romans 8:23, 26). 

To minimize suffering in this broken world is to diminish the great sacrifice of our Lord on the cross for us. To turn to the Lord with honest lament is to honor Him as the sovereign LORD of all. 

Have you sought the Lord with tears? Have you longed, hungered and waited for Him with groans? Have you leaned into the groaning prayers of the Spirit? God “bends down to listen” (Psalm 116:2). “He is near to the brokenhearted,” (Psalm 34:18). He collects each tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8).

Jesus, our great, empathetic high priest, who “In his life on earth made His prayers and requests with loud cries and tears to the One who could save Him from death, and was heard because of His reverence,” (Hebrews 5:7). And “is able to save completely those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to intercede for them,” (Hebrews 7:25).

A few quotes from “Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy” by Mark Vroegrop:

Trust is believing what you know to be true even though the facts of suffering might call that belief into question.Lament keeps us turning toward trust by giving us language to step into the wilderness between our painful reality and our hopeful longings.

Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, p. 77

Why is waiting so difficult? Because it feels as if we’re not doing anything. And that’s the point. You’re not doing anything, but God is. However, waiting is one of the greatest applications of the Christian faith. You are putting your trust in God, placing your hope in him, and expressing confidence that he is in control. Waiting puts us in an uncomfortable place where we’re out of control of our lives. Remember in chapter 4, when I called this “active patience”? That season is when God will shape and define us the most.

Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, p. 115

Lament is the language of a people who know the whole story-the gospel story. They know how the entrance of sin into the world brought death and suffering. As we conclude our look into Lamentations, it is a good reminder that the message of the gospel is where lament should lead. The sorrow of loss can lead us to the man of sorrows because Jesus is the answer to the cause of every pain.

MARK VROEGOP, DARK CLOUDS, DEEP MERCY, P. 150

“Too many people think real worship only means an upbeat and happy demeanor. But grief-filled prayers of pain while seeking God are among the deepest expressions of God-centered worship.”

Mark Vroegop. Dark Clouds Deep Mercy. p. 160

Singing songs of lament has been a very moving experience for me.

I pray that you might discover the grace of learning to turn to God in Biblical lament through your own sorrows. For as Jesus taught, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5: 3-4). 🙏🙏🙏💕

Much love,

Jenny Coleman

“You show me the path to life; 
Your presence fills me with joy,       
everlasting delight is at Your right hand”
– Psalms 16:11

My GriefShare Story: Why I believe in Christian Grief Ministry

My husband, Mike, and I are the proud parents of three boys and a girl who were all still living at home while working their way through school in 2012. Our oldest, Josh, was working towards his masters in biology. James, our middle son, was studying computer science. Joel was finishing up his third semester of college and had just settled on studying engineering and our youngest, Judi, was preparing to apply for nursing school. We had no idea that when God called us to move to Huntsville in 2009 and told us we would be launching our kids into adulthood there, that our youngest son, Joel, would be launched straight into Heaven. 

Joel was 20, thoughtful, intelligent, tender, and joyful. He had an enthusiasm for life that was contagious and never lost his boyish sense of wonder. His relaxed and playful demeanor put everyone around him at ease. He could heartily laugh at himself then tease you with a wholesome grin that left you feeling disarmed and genuinely loved. He had a way of putting his arm around you, listening intently to your heart and making you feel like the most important person in the world.

As a little boy, Joel purposely set time aside from exciting boy things like playing dinosaurs, sword fighting, and building legos with his brothers to play doll house with his little sister. As a teen he was becoming a proficient classical guitarist and filled our lives with a beautiful, soulful song called “Night’s Sorrow” which he played constantly; while working math problems in his head, while writing English papers, while watching “Everybody Loves Raymond” reruns, and while waiting for video games to load. Constantly.

Joel playing “Night’s Sorrow”


Joel spent most of his last day at home studying for finals and, of course, playing his classical guitar. I woke up before Joel that morning to give myself time to practice my little harp before he filled our home with his worshipful song. When Joel woke up, he  joined me in our hearth room and I excitedly demonstrated how I had learned to play “O, Come Let Us Adore Him,” my first Christmas hymn. “Oh, yeah, I learned that one years ago,” he teased while playfully calling me a “nube” with his disarming grin. He was proud of both of us. 

My plan for the day was to decorate our Christmas tree and to set up my large collection of Fontanini nativity figures. Joel surfaced from his studies in the music room periodically throughout the day for a breath of fresh air and to visit with me while I unboxed and set up my nativity collection. That afternoon, he stood in our kitchen and surveyed the work I was doing with the Christmas decorations. Smiling, thankful, full of longing and anticipation, he said, “Normally it feels like Christmas, but it doesn’t yet because I still have these final exams.”

Later that afternoon, a new friend Josh had met playing football Thanksgiving weekend came to our door to see who might come to a birthday party he was putting together for a friend. And about 4 PM, Josh and Joel grabbed our Apples to Apples game excited about making new friends and drove an hour to the little town of New Hope, AL. The party tragically ended early that evening when an assault rifle was fired into a group of kids there. Several were injured. Our youngest son, Joel, ran straight into the loving arms of Jesus. 

Everyday Joel is experiencing in Heaven must feel like all the best holidays plus your birthday rolled into one. Our days, especially our holidays, since our last day with Joel are filled with longing and anticipation for Heaven’s arrival. We are thankful when we survey the redemptive work Jesus has done on the cross for us, and we smile when we set our eyes on the preparations Jesus is making for us in His Father’s house, but it doesn’t feel like Heaven yet because we still have these final exams.


From the very beginning I could easily see Joel smiling happily in Heaven and believed with all my heart that God loved us, was good, and was sovereignly working all things together for our good, but the second evening, I had a long moment where I questioned if God understood how painful His choice to allow Joel’s death was for us. Was He sensitive to our hearts? Did God really feel the pain and suffering a parent experiences when His own Son, Jesus, suffered and died on the cross for us?

It was then that we realized we had a choice. We could turn to God with our questions and sorrow or go to a very dark place. My husband, Mike, asked me privately, “How is your hope?” I was stunned to realize my hope had been so crushed that I didn’t know what the word meant any more. Mike gently pointed me towards an eternal perspective. Jesus had not come to give us a life free of earthly sorrow. He came to share in our suffering and die for our sins that one day our “Night’s Sorrow” might be swallowed up by Heaven’s joy. 

Choosing to turn to God with our sorrow and place our hope in an eternal perspective was not a one time decision. It was often a moment by moment intense like final exams struggle with our volition. I needed people who understood to lend me the light of their faith and heavenly hope and point me to the cross and our eternal perspective. 

At first, I was afraid attending a grief support group would only make our grief worse. When our pastor told us about GriefShare and how it features 13 video seminars made up of short clips of respected grief experts, pastors, and counselors, we decided to give it a try.

To our relief, we learned were not alone, our overwhelming emotions were normal and we weren’t going crazy. Each person in the videos shared stories of how they struggled with grief and what helped them. We learned from their hard-won wisdom and helpful suggestions how to work through our own grief in healthy ways. 


The group members began to feel like family after a few short weeks. We all understood the pain of losing someone we dearly loved and were able to encourage and show compassion towards each other as we discussed how to handle our “Why?” questions and regrets, how to find the strength to keep going and hold onto our faith in the dark and other relevant topics from the curriculum. 

The short daily exercises in the workbooks helped me to  find comfort in God’s Word and slowly begin to untangle my shattered heart. Hearing how God was ministering to others in their suffering gave me the encouragement I needed to keep turning to Jesus, our ultimate source of hope and comfort. 

Near the first anniversary of our son’s death, we attended GriefShare’s special “Surviving the Holidays” Seminar and learned practical strategies for how to navigate the holidays while grieving. We were invited to stay for our first candle lighting service there and to attend their 13 week program a second time through.

Towards the end of our second semester, I began to notice several group members’ growing faith and hope. I couldn’t see my own progress, but the light I saw in their eyes encouraged me to attend GriefShare a third time through and to eventually start a group of our own.

We heard a pastor say, “God is near the brokenhearted. If you want to be near the heart of God, be near the brokenhearted.” I think most people imagine like I did that attending a grief group would only make their grief worse. We do bring tissues to our meetings, but most of our conversations are actually filled with smiles and laughter because they revolve around how we are learning to live lives filled with the hope of our growing eternal perspective.

Our group members are often surprised by how much they learn and humbled by how God uses their faith and perseverance to encourage others. I am constantly amazed by the stories of how God is protecting, providing for, guiding and faithfully comforting each group member. GriefShare has given me a front row seat to little and big miracles of faith and hope and light each semester. God’s heart is tender, He is sensitive to our pain, knows the brokenness one bereaved parent feels for another, suffers and grieves with us, tenderly cares for us and carries us through all the years. 

We still have these final exams, and our holidays are especially filled with longing and anticipation for Jesus to return and take us Home to be with Him, but we are learning to trust our caring Heavenly Father with our “Why?” questions and regrets and to turn to Him for the strength we need to keep going and hold onto our faith in the dark because we have experienced His nearness in our brokenness and fixed our eyes on the great love He has shown us through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

If you would like to know more about GriefShare, or other grief resources you may visit our GriefShare page on our church website @ RedlandHills.org/GriefShare

In His Love,

Jenny Coleman

Quotes, verses, and encouragement:
Our RHC GriefShare Facebook Page
Our RHC GriefShare Instagram Page
My Life Preserving Verses Instagram Page

GriefShare’s Free e-devotional and more


Perspectives from Heaven

Happy 10 years in Heaven today, Joel!

Joel, I love you so, so much. I am SO grateful for you.

You must be so proud of how bravely your big brother, Josh, and his wife, Cora, are enduring the great suffering he is experiencing. We are so proud of the way he is fighting for his life as he searches and waits for someone healthy enough to qualify to donate a kidney on his behalf and in doing so gives him the gift of life.

I know you can’t wait to see him again, but I am really hoping that I get to meet you and Jesus at Heaven’s gates before he does. He and Cora would really like to welcome children of their own into their family and raise them to live well for Christ. I hope that it is part of God’s plan to use them to start giving me lots of grandkids one day soon. It breaks my heart that Dad and James and Judi and I are not healthy enough to donate a kidney for him.

I’ve been thinking about the perspective you and the other saints in Heaven must have on the unseen things here on earth and above and how you know how immensely important and intense the battle against the forces of darkness is and the consequences that hang in its balance. You see the passion of Jesus burning like fire in His eyes. You see our heavenly Father’s face and His incredible love and tender care for us. You see His angels and saints and hear their stories and see the glory Jesus is winning through them all.

I’ve been thinking how you and other saints in Heaven must be so moved to pray for us and how puny and apathetic my prayers must seem in comparison. I am so thankful that Holy Spirit is working on that in me.

Dad and I started reading a new book by Randy Alcorn on Heaven this week. It’s called “We Shall See God.” Randy shares many of Charles Spurgeon’s sermons on Heaven and comments on them in it. We’re only on chapter three and it is Ah-MAZING! I can already tell I am going to want to read this book over and over again.

Randy’s wife, Nanci, joined you in Heaven earlier this year. Have you met her? I imagine Mamalene and Granddad introduced you to Charles Spurgeon a long time ago. They loved his sermons.

Last night, these portions of Spurgeon’s sermon stood out to me:

"Brothers and sisters, we are like warriors fighting for the victory; we don't as yet share in the shout of triumph. Even up in Heaven [the saints] have not yet received their full reward."

I knew you must be praying because you are with Jesus in His Father’s House and Jesus declared, “It is written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer’” (Matthew 21:13) so it must be so.  I have personally experienced the powerful effects of the prayers of the saints (both of those cheering from Heaven and of those still running beside me on earth). Knowing that you are apart of the great cloud of witnesses cheering us on has helped me tremendously to endure and to keep turning to and fixing my eyes on Jesus the “the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

I had not considered that you were still waiting to receive your full reward though I’ve meditated on these verses since early in our journey of missing you:

“And when the Lamb opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony they had upheld. And they cried out in a loud voice, ‘How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You avenge our blood and judge those who dwell upon the earth?’

Then each of them was given a white robe and told to rest a little while longer, until the full number of their fellow servants, their brothers, were killed, just as they had been killed.” – Revelation 6:9-11


I know that waiting means enduring and enduring, cheering and praying are all ways that we battle for the Heavenly Kingdom. You are a brother warrior fighting for the victory with us. What a beautiful thing to realize as we continue to battle on the 10th anniversary of your entrance into Heaven!

Spurgeon goes on to say:

"Those in Heaven are blessed, but they have not had their public entrance. They are waiting till their Lord shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the trump of the archangel and the voice of God. Then their bodies shall rise; then the world shall be judged; then the righteous shall be divided from the wicked. And then, the Prince at their head, the whole of the blood-washed host, wearing their white robes, and bearing their palms of victory, shall march up to their crowns and to their thrones to reign forever and ever!

For this fulfillment the believing heart is panting, groaning, and sighing."


He is right! Romans 8 tells us this is so. You and others who were slain are still resting, waiting and longing for the Lord to avenge your blood and judge those who dwell on the earth. You are waiting for the full number of saints to be killed. You are waiting for our resurrection and the Lamb’s victory fulfilled. You are waiting, and groaning with all of creation, the Spirit and all of the saints for the shout that will accompany the Lord’s descent and the “redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:18-27).

You are blessed. You no longer suffer or die or mourn the way those on earth do. You cheer and wait and groan in battle with us through prayer.

Spurgeon continues:

"A Christian's experience is like a rainbow, made up of drops of the griefs of Earth and beams of the happiness of Heaven. It is a checkered scene, a garment of many colors. He is sometimes in the light and sometimes in the dark. The text says, "We groan." ... We groan within ourselves. Our sighs are sacred things..."

Isn’t that a beautiful way to express it?! On earth we experience the “beams of the happiness of Heaven” mixed with drops of grief. Our good Heavenly Father shines His glorious Light through our sorrows and we remember His promise that “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). Your faith has become sight in Heaven. You continually experience only the “beams of the happiness of Heaven” there, yet you continue to wait and cheer and groan. Our groans and sighs are sacred things that reach through the veil.

A friend at church shared with me Sunday that she recently had a vision where the Lord pulled her into Himself and so far into the universe away from her problems until the earth looked like a tiny speck. She said she resisted being pulled away at first, but then everything was so beautiful. Jesus pointed at her life on the earth and asked her, “What do you see?” She answered, “It’s only a minute.” She saw the smallness and brevity of her earthly life and problems compared to the vastness of God and eternity.

Our life is but a vapor. I want to use my minute well. I want to make you proud that I am on your team battling and groaning, enduring and waiting well on behalf of the Kingdom of Heaven. I want an eternal perspective that sees the unseen eternal things that hang in the balance. I want to continue to endure and fix my eyes on Jesus and run my race for the joy set before me as He did. I want to see the passion burning like fire in His eyes. I want the steadfast lovingkindness, compassion and mercy of our heavenly Father to burn in my heart through the power of Holy Spirit so that my prayers might be set ablaze, no longer embarrassingly puny and apathetic. I want my minute to become a story that glorifies our Great and Victorious Lamb of God.

I love you, I am proud of you and I am looking forward to seeing you again soon!

Much love,

Mom


Josh and Cora
Josh learns about IgA Nephropathy and his need for a kidney transplant
Josh Resting with a Friend
Josh and Joel a few days before Joel was murdered by a stranger with an AK-57 before Josh’s eyes
Joel, Josh, Judi and James on a homeschool field trip
Camping is Fun!
Antlers are Cool!
Caves are for Exploring

Meditations on Psalm 84

How lovely is Your dwelling place, Yahweh of Hosts!
My soul longs, even faints, for Yahweh’s courts;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

Psalm 84:1-2

Psalm 84 is one of my favorite psalms. It mirrors my heart’s longing for God’s courts. Joel and I used to run around the house singing and dancing verse 10 with all our might:

“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere!”

Psalm 84:10

I was working on memorizing the psalm one day when verse 4 stood out to me:

How happy are those
who dwell in Your house;
they are ever praising You. Selah.

Psalm 84:4

O, LORD of Host, How happy are those who trust in You!

In the depths of my longing, it’s easy to forget “how happy” Joel must be living in God’s house. Happy. Joel is not sad that he died. He’s running around God’s house singing and dancing, “Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere!” with all of his might.

The next few verses say:

How happy are those
whose strength is in You,
hearts set on pilgrimage.

Passing through the Valley of Weeping
they make it a spring
Yes, early rains cover them with blessings.

They go from strength to strength;
each appearing before God in Zion.

Psalm 84:5-7


This December will mark 10 years of happy days for Joel in God’s house and 10 years of deep longing and even fainting for God’s courts for me. A huge part of my heart went with Joel to Heaven. The part of my heart that remains is not torn apart forever, but set on a pilgrimage towards wholeness in appearing before God in Zion and having Him tenderly wipe away the last of my tears.

My strength often fails, but God’s strength never does. When I turn to Him for help, He is faithful to comfort, strengthen and cover me with the blessing of the early rains of His Spirit. His presence in my Valley of Weeping fills me with joy. Living in the dichotomy of it all is hard which makes me oh so happy that I am only passing through. Knowing that God will supply the strength I need for every situation is carrying me from strength to strength to the courts I long for. My heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God!

For the LORD God is our sun and shield;
the LORD gives grace and glory:
He withholds no good thing
from those who walk with integrity.
O, LORD of Host, How happy
are those who trust in You!

Psalm 84:11-12

In His Love,

Jenny Coleman

How to Experience More Life and Light and Peace in a Broken World

Did you have an imaginary friend when you were little?

Our imaginations are always active and continually influenced by things around us. As we grow older, we can forget how powerful they can be.

We learn in Romans 8:6,

“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

In our broken world, it is easy to imagine that we are alone when we are afraid or angry or sad. It is easy to imagine that no one sees or understands or even cares about us. It’s easy to think dark thoughts in a dark world and to lose our peace.

Believers in Jesus live not only in a broken world, but also “in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6). Asking God to help us to set our minds on the Spirit and to “see” and be influenced by the realms of Heaven can be life changing.

I was meditating on these verses last week:

Ephesians 5:8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true, 10 as you try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord… 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that is illuminated becomes a light itself. 14 This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

I thought about the words over and over and asked God to make them come alive in me. He opened my imagination and I saw myself “full of darkness” before I knew Jesus. I was like the little girl in the Bible who died. Jesus came into my room where I laid dead in my bed, gently held my hand and said, “Wake up.” I sat up in my bed, awakened from the dead, and looked at Jesus smiling warmly at me. The light from His smile filled me with a light that was so bright that it shined right through me in all directions and filled the room with light.

Can you see yourself in that story? Ask Jesus to enlighten the eyes of your imagination. 

“For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!” – Ephesians 5:8

Each day I have a choice to make. Will I walk in the darkness of the world with my mind set on fleshly things or will I live as someone filled with God’s light and presence? Will I imagine that I am alone, that no one sees me, understands, or cares about me; or will I see Jesus tenderly holding my hand, lovingly waking me from my dark death, and filling me with the bright light of His smile? Will I let that light fill me and produce “only what is good and right and true” as I try to learn “what is pleasing to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:9-10)?

From these verses in Ephesians, we learn that it pleases the Lord to fill us with light and what is good and right and true.

I learned in GriefShare that we can use our imaginations to facilitate healing from the flashbacks and nightmares caused by the trauma of losing a loved one by changing the ending of the story in our minds.

When our son, Joel, was attacked with an assault rifle, his life in this broken world came to an end, but his life “in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” continues forever.

Jesus said,

“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in Me will live, even though he dies. And everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

Do you believe this?

One day, I asked Holy Spirit to help heal my mind by filling my imagination with more of Joel’s story. He opened my eyes to a vision of the incredible joy on Jesus’ face as He welcomed Joel Home.

Hebrews 12:2 says,

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Welcoming Joel Home was part of the joy that helped Jesus to endure the cross. Fixing my eyes on the vision of that incredible joy on Jesus’ face helps me to endure my cross as well.

Do you desire life and peace? Which realm will you allow to influence your imagination? Where will you set your mind? Do you hear Jesus asking you to awake and rise up from the dead? Will you live as a child of the light? Will you invite God to fill you with light and what is good and right and true? Will you invite Holy Spirit to fill you with visions of Jesus as you meditate on God’s Word?

The next five verses in Ephesians 5 reveal more secrets to obtaining light and life and peace:

15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.

16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.

17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.

18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life.

Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.

20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

These practices can make a huge difference in your life.

If you are not sure that your loved one who died was a believer and went to Heaven, I have been praying for you and created this PDF explaining how you can have life and peace when facing uncertainty: tiny.cc/peace_when_I_do_not_know

This video by one of GriefShare’s hosts may also help: https://youtu.be/1MdPHuPjGnQ

In His Love,

Jenny Coleman
RHC GriefShare facilitator

GriefShare is a 13 week video seminar and support group offering help and encouragement for those grieving the death of a friend or loved one. Learn more about our groups at: http://www.redlandhills.org/griefshare/

Where is Your Hope?

I have a few confessions to make.

I loved this Facebook meme for the end of 2020.

The general consensus that this has been a bad year and that everyone just wants it over has been hard on me. Not that I thought that this was a particularly good year or that many of the changes that this year brought haven’t been hard on me or that I don’t want to see this year end. 

IT’S THAT THE EAGERNESS IS MISPLACED.

The hype at the end of last year about how great 2020 was going to be really bothered me as well.

You see, in December 2012, when Joel died, I learned not to put my hope in a year. 

Many years earlier, God gave me a verse for my kids that became my prayer and hope:

All your children shall be taught by the LORD Himself, and great shall be the peace of your children. – Isaiah 54:13

I prayed that they would be taught by the LORD Himself. I prayed daily that they would love the Lord and serve Him with all their hearts. My goal in homeschooling them was to teach them to be led by Holy Spirit. They are really great kids, hard workers. Ages 26-32 now. They love the Lord, are incredibly smart. The Lord Himself has truly been their teacher.

On a Wednesday night in November of 2012, someone in our church had our oldest and youngest sons stand up and spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over them: 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

The promise felt a little out of place. I thought, “Of course, God’s plans are good.” We were overflowing with hope. All three boys were living at home while working their way through college. My daughter was preparing to graduate from homeschooling. Everything was good. 

Then that awful day in December came. Joel died. My hope was shattered and I lost all sense of what hope was. No one can live without hope. I needed a different kind of hope, a more trustworthy hope.

I had never thought about how that wonderful verse in Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken to a people also promised 70 years of captivity. They would never see their kids graduate from college and live a long prosperous life this side of Heaven either. 

How did they live? What was their hope? I had to search the scriptures diligently with all my heart to learn what biblical hope really is. 

I learned to love verses that I had skipped over before. I held onto them for dear life. Job and Joseph and Paul and Jesus became my best friends. They had suffered long and hard. They understood.

Our hope was never meant to be in a year. It’s not meant to be placed in the things or people of this world. Yes, God has good plans for us. Yes, He wants to prosper us. But our treasures are not earthly treasures where moth and rust corrupt. They are Heavenly. They are eternal.

I had to learn to live this way:

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things above, not the things on the earth. For you have died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God. When Christ your life may be revealed, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

I had to learn perseverance: 

So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you will become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. – James 1:4

For a long time, I had to trust that perseverance would produce the hope I’d lost:

Not only that, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Romans 5:3-5

I had to believe that my suffering was temporary and achieving a greater glory:

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  – 2 Corinthians 4:17  

I had to learn to trust that God’s grace would be sufficient for whatever the new year would bring:

Each time He said, “My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

I had to learn to aline my hope with our heroes of faith: 

All these people died in faith, without having received the things they were promised. However, they saw them and welcomed them from afar. And they acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

Now those who say such things show that they are seeking a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13- 16

I had to learn to think soberly about this life and rest my hope FULLY on Christ and His return: 

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, rest all your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. – 1 Peter 1:13

My hope has grown eager and secure because it is no longer in temporary things.  

But you, beloved, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, eagerly waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you eternal life. Jude 1:20-21 

How is your hope?
Is it misplaced?
Or is it only in our eternal hope in Jesus?

In His love,

Jenny Coleman
GriefShare facilitator at Redland Hills Church

We are starting two GriefShare groups this Spring.

Anyone grieving a death of a friend or loved one:
Sundays at 3 PM starting January 17th

Bereaved parents:
Wednesdays at 6 PM starting January 13th

Ask for details or find one by zip code near you at GriefShare.org

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