Tag: Thoughts (Page 1 of 15)

Happy 10 years in Heaven today, Joel!

Joel, I love you so, so much. I am SO grateful for you.

You must be so proud of how bravely your big brother, Josh, and his wife, Cora, are enduring the great suffering he is experiencing. We are so proud of the way he is fighting for his life as he searches and waits for someone healthy enough to qualify to donate a kidney on his behalf and in doing so gives him the gift of life.

I know you can’t wait to see him again, but I am really hoping that I get to meet you and Jesus at Heaven’s gates before he does. He and Cora would really like to welcome children of their own into their family and raise them to live well for Christ. I hope that it is part of God’s plan to use them to start giving me lots of grandkids one day soon. It breaks my heart that Dad and James and Judi and I are not healthy enough to donate a kidney for him.

I’ve been thinking about the perspective you and the other saints in Heaven must have on the unseen things here on earth and above and how you know how immensely important and intense the battle against the forces of darkness is and the consequences that hang in its balance. You see the passion of Jesus burning like fire in His eyes. You see our heavenly Father’s face and His incredible love and tender care for us. You see His angels and saints and hear their stories and see the glory Jesus is winning through them all.

I’ve been thinking how you and other saints in Heaven must be so moved to pray for us and how puny and apathetic my prayers must seem in comparison. I am so thankful that Holy Spirit is working on that in me.

Dad and I started reading a new book by Randy Alcorn on Heaven this week. It’s called “We Shall See God.” Randy shares many of Charles Spurgeon’s sermons on Heaven and comments on them in it. We’re only on chapter three and it is Ah-MAZING! I can already tell I am going to want to read this book over and over again.

Randy’s wife, Nanci, joined you in Heaven earlier this year. Have you met her? I imagine Mamalene and Granddad introduced you to Charles Spurgeon a long time ago. They loved his sermons.

Last night, these portions of Spurgeon’s sermon stood out to me:

"Brothers and sisters, we are like warriors fighting for the victory; we don't as yet share in the shout of triumph. Even up in Heaven [the saints] have not yet received their full reward."

I knew you must be praying because you are with Jesus in His Father’s House and Jesus declared, “It is written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer’” (Matthew 21:13) so it must be so.  I have personally experienced the powerful effects of the prayers of the saints (both of those cheering from Heaven and of those still running beside me on earth). Knowing that you are apart of the great cloud of witnesses cheering us on has helped me tremendously to endure and to keep turning to and fixing my eyes on Jesus the “the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

I had not considered that you were still waiting to receive your full reward though I’ve meditated on these verses since early in our journey of missing you:

“And when the Lamb opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony they had upheld. And they cried out in a loud voice, ‘How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You avenge our blood and judge those who dwell upon the earth?’

Then each of them was given a white robe and told to rest a little while longer, until the full number of their fellow servants, their brothers, were killed, just as they had been killed.” – Revelation 6:9-11

I know that waiting means enduring and enduring, cheering and praying are all ways that we battle for the Heavenly Kingdom. You are a brother warrior fighting for the victory with us. What a beautiful thing to realize as we continue to battle on the 10th anniversary of your entrance into Heaven!

Spurgeon goes on to say:

"Those in Heaven are blessed, but they have not had their public entrance. They are waiting till their Lord shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the trump of the archangel and the voice of God. Then their bodies shall rise; then the world shall be judged; then the righteous shall be divided from the wicked. And then, the Prince at their head, the whole of the blood-washed host, wearing their white robes, and bearing their palms of victory, shall march up to their crowns and to their thrones to reign forever and ever!

For this fulfillment the believing heart is panting, groaning, and sighing."

He is right! Romans 8 tells us this is so. You and others who were slain are still resting, waiting and longing for the Lord to avenge your blood and judge those who dwell on the earth. You are waiting for the full number of saints to be killed. You are waiting for our resurrection and the Lamb’s victory fulfilled. You are waiting, and groaning with all of creation, the Spirit and all of the saints for the shout that will accompany the Lord’s descent and the “redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:18-27).

You are blessed. You no longer suffer or die or mourn the way those on earth do. You cheer and wait and groan in battle with us through prayer.

Spurgeon continues:

"A Christian's experience is like a rainbow, made up of drops of the griefs of Earth and beams of the happiness of Heaven. It is a checkered scene, a garment of many colors. He is sometimes in the light and sometimes in the dark. The text says, "We groan." ... We groan within ourselves. Our sighs are sacred things..."

Isn’t that a beautiful way to express it?! On earth we experience the “beams of the happiness of Heaven” mixed with drops of grief. Our good Heavenly Father shines His glorious Light through our sorrows and we remember His promise that “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). Your faith has become sight in Heaven. You continually experience only the “beams of the happiness of Heaven” there, yet you continue to wait and cheer and groan. Our groans and sighs are sacred things that reach through the veil.

A friend at church shared with me Sunday that she recently had a vision where the Lord pulled her into Himself and so far into the universe away from her problems until the earth looked like a tiny speck. She said she resisted being pulled away at first, but then everything was so beautiful. Jesus pointed at her life on the earth and asked her, “What do you see?” She answered, “It’s only a minute.” She saw the smallness and brevity of her earthly life and problems compared to the vastness of God and eternity.

Our life is but a vapor. I want to use my minute well. I want to make you proud that I am on your team battling and groaning, enduring and waiting well on behalf of the Kingdom of Heaven. I want an eternal perspective that sees the unseen eternal things that hang in the balance. I want to continue to endure and fix my eyes on Jesus and run my race for the joy set before me as He did. I want to see the passion burning like fire in His eyes. I want the steadfast lovingkindness, compassion and mercy of our heavenly Father to burn in my heart through the power of Holy Spirit so that my prayers might be set ablaze, no longer embarrassingly puny and apathetic. I want my minute to become a story that glorifies our Great and Victorious Lamb of God.

I love you, I am proud of you and I am looking forward to seeing you again soon!

Much love,

Mom

How lovely is Your dwelling place, Yahweh of Hosts!
My soul longs, even faints, for Yahweh’s courts;
My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

Psalm 84:1-2

Psalm 84 is one of my favorite psalms. It mirrors my heart’s longing for God’s courts. Joel and I used to run around the house singing and dancing verse 10 with all our might:

“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere!”

Psalm 84:10

I was working on memorizing the psalm one day when verse 4 stood out to me:

How happy are those
who dwell in Your house;
they are ever praising You. Selah.

Psalm 84:4

In the depths of my longing, it’s easy to forget “how happy” Joel must be living in God’s house. Happy. Joel is not sad that he died. He’s running around God’s house singing and dancing, “Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere!” with all of his might.

The next few verses say:

How happy are those
whose strength is in You,
hearts set on pilgrimage.

Passing through the Valley of Weeping
they make it a spring
Yes, early rains cover them with blessings.

They go from strength to strength;
each appearing before God in Zion.

Psalm 84:5-7

This December will mark 10 years of happy days for Joel in God’s house and 10 years of deep longing and even fainting for God’s courts for me. A huge part of my heart went with Joel to Heaven. The part of my heart that remains is not torn apart forever, but set on a pilgrimage towards wholeness in appearing before God in Zion and having Him tenderly wipe away the last of my tears.

My strength often fails, but God’s strength never does. When I turn to Him for help, He is faithful to comfort, strengthen and cover me with the blessing of the early rains of His Spirit. His presence in my Valley of Weeping fills me with joy. Living in the dichotomy of it all is hard which makes me oh so happy that I am only passing through. Knowing that God will supply the strength I need for every situation is carrying me from strength to strength to the courts I long for. My heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God!

For the LORD God is our sun and shield;
the LORD gives grace and glory:
He withholds no good thing
from those who walk with integrity.
O, LORD of Host, How happy
are those who trust in You!

Psalm 84:11-12

In His Love,

Jenny Coleman

I have a few confessions to make.

I loved this Facebook meme for the end of 2020.

The general consensus that this has been a bad year and that everyone just wants it over has been hard on me. Not that I thought that this was a particularly good year or that many of the changes that this year brought haven’t been hard on me or that I don’t want to see this year end. 

IT’S THAT THE EAGERNESS IS MISPLACED.

The hype at the end of last year about how great 2020 was going to be really bothered me as well.

You see, in December 2012, when Joel died, I learned not to put my hope in a year. 

Many years earlier, God gave me a verse for my kids that became my prayer and hope:

All your children shall be taught by the LORD Himself, and great shall be the peace of your children. – Isaiah 54:13

I prayed that they would be taught by the LORD Himself. I prayed daily that they would love the Lord and serve Him with all their hearts. My goal in homeschooling them was to teach them to be led by Holy Spirit. They are really great kids, hard workers. Ages 26-32 now. They love the Lord, are incredibly smart. The Lord Himself has truly been their teacher.

On a Wednesday night in November of 2012, someone in our church had our oldest and youngest sons stand up and spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over them: 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

The promise felt a little out of place. I thought, “Of course, God’s plans are good.” We were overflowing with hope. All three boys were living at home while working their way through college. My daughter was preparing to graduate from homeschooling. Everything was good. 

Then that awful day in December came. Joel died. My hope was shattered and I lost all sense of what hope was. No one can live without hope. I needed a different kind of hope, a more trustworthy hope.

I had never thought about how that wonderful verse in Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken to a people also promised 70 years of captivity. They would never see their kids graduate from college and live a long prosperous life this side of Heaven either. 

How did they live? What was their hope? I had to search the scriptures diligently with all my heart to learn what biblical hope really is. 

I learned to love verses that I had skipped over before. I held onto them for dear life. Job and Joseph and Paul and Jesus became my best friends. They had suffered long and hard. They understood.

Our hope was never meant to be in a year. It’s not meant to be placed in the things or people of this world. Yes, God has good plans for us. Yes, He wants to prosper us. But our treasures are not earthly treasures where moth and rust corrupt. They are Heavenly. They are eternal.

I had to learn to live this way:

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things above, where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things above, not the things on the earth. For you have died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God. When Christ your life may be revealed, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

I had to learn perseverance: 

So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you will become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. – James 1:4

For a long time, I had to trust that perseverance would produce the hope I’d lost:

Not only that, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Romans 5:3-5

I had to believe that my suffering was temporary and achieving a greater glory:

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  – 2 Corinthians 4:17  

I had to learn to trust that God’s grace would be sufficient for whatever the new year would bring:

Each time He said, “My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

I had to learn to aline my hope with our heroes of faith: 

All these people died in faith, without having received the things they were promised. However, they saw them and welcomed them from afar. And they acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

Now those who say such things show that they are seeking a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13- 16

I had to learn to think soberly about this life and rest my hope FULLY on Christ and His return: 

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, rest all your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. – 1 Peter 1:13

My hope has grown eager and secure because it is no longer in temporary things.  

But you, beloved, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, eagerly waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you eternal life. Jude 1:20-21 

How is your hope?
Is it misplaced?
Or is it only in our eternal hope in Jesus?

In His love,

Jenny Coleman
GriefShare facilitator at Redland Hills Church

We are starting two GriefShare groups this Spring.

Anyone grieving a death of a friend or loved one:
Sundays at 3 PM starting January 17th

Bereaved parents:
Wednesdays at 6 PM starting January 13th

Ask for details or find one by zip code near you at GriefShare.org

I was pouring out some pent up emotions (and tears) in prayer on my walk the other day. I noticed I’d been trying to live bootstraps pulled up, marching forward right over my heart. I know that is not the Father’s heart towards me, so I decided to declare the truth to my heart by praying through Psalm 23. When I came to “my cup runs over,” I “looked” inside my cup. It was empty. A tear plopped into my empty cup..

How are you? Are you taking your cares to the Shepherd of your soul? Are you speaking truth to your heart? Are you seeing Jesus rightly? Are you taking time to sit at the table He has prepared for you in the presence of your enemies? Are you allowing Him to fill your cup?

I asked the Lord, what had He prepared for me? What was at the table? Why was my cup dry? These verses came to mind:

And He took the bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body, given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you. – Luke 22:19-20

Jesus humbled Himself, suffered and died that we might eat and drink of Him. He is the sacrifice prepared for us in the midst of our enemies.

“I am the living bread that came down from Heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And this bread, which I will give for the life of the world, is My flesh.” – John 6:51

On the last and greatest day of the feast, Jesus stood up and called out in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said: ‘Streams of living water will flow from within him.” – John 7:37-38

Jesus is our Spring of Salvation; a flowing source of salvation that the thirsty can return to again and again.

Isaiah 12:2-3
Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
For the LORD GOD is my strength and my song,
and He also has become my salvation.
With joy you will draw water from the springs of salvation.

Jesus’ sacrifice and invitation to come eat and drink of Him is very good news to those who are thirsty and willing to come. Will you draw water with joy from our Spring of Salvation with me?

May you feel His loving embrace this Christmas,

Jenny

I drove by a yard decorated with plastic tombstones for Halloween this week. It was hard on my heart.

It triggered thoughts of death, darkness, and the deep pain of losing someone you dearly love.

Innocent pastimes like Clue, the Mafia party game, and Murder Mystery Dinners are no longer innocent or mysterious for me. I do still really enjoy seeing kids’ creativity and joy in dressing up in some of the nicer Halloween costumes and I’ve already bought glow bracelets, temporary monster tattoos, candy and tracks to pass out to the neighborhood kids.

I dreaded the drive back home past the play cemetery the other night. Then flenched when I saw it a second time and I prayed for those I know who are hurting this season. I acknowledged in my heart that the decorations aren’t going to get any brighter as the years go by and determined that I needed change what seeing death celebrated triggers in me.

I asked myself, “What thoughts can I connect to tombstones that would help heal my battered soul?” My heart answered, “The death of death! The day God swallows up death forever! The day we will celebrate Jesus’ victory over death, our last enemy! The day God will tenderly wipe away every tear from our eyes!” Oh, how I long for that day!

I compiled a list of “Death Swallowed in Victory” verses to help my heart in those triggered moments. Training my mind and renewing my heart will take a while, but I know Jesus gives beauty for ashes. I included a photo above showing how I use Google Keep to keep lists like it in my phone. Sharing it here for those like me who may need the brighter thoughts they inspire:

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Isaiah 25:8 He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove his people’s disgrace from all the earth. For Yahweh has spoken.

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Isaiah 60:20 Your sun will no longer set, and your moon will not wane; for Yahweh will be your everlasting light, and the days of your sorrow will be over.

Revelation 7:17 For the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd. He will lead them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Corinthians 5:1 Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is dismantled, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.

John 11:25-26 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies; and every one who is living and is a believer in me will never, never die. Do you believe this?”

1 Corinthians 15:54-56 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come to pass: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

Psalm 16:7-11
I will bless Yahweh, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set Yahweh always before me.
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be moved.

No wonder my heart is glad
and my glory rejoices;
my body also rests in safety.

For You will not abandon
my soul among the dead,
nor allow your faithful one to see decay.

You cause me to know the path to life;
fill me with joy in Your presence,
everlasting delight at Your right hand.

Much love and grace,

Jenny

When you are suffering or have lost someone you dearly love, there can be a temptation to desperately grasp at any means of comfort. God may feel distant, inaccessible, or we may honestly not be on speaking terms with Him. Seeking a medium or spiritists may sound like a good idea, but the reality is that it can be devastatingly dangerous. What we need when our hearts are broken is nothing short of a miracle. We need the comfort that only God can give.

God is not distant or inaccessible. Jesus died on the cross so that nothing can ever separate us from His love again. All we have to do is ask and He will come to our rescue.

I am not saying that our journey through suffering to comfort will be quick or easy, but if we will continually turn our hearts to God, He will be faithful to meet us and minister to us as only He can.

I was so blessed a few years ago when I read a Kim Nolywaika’s “Eight Reasons Why I Will Not See a Psychic Medium” that I wanted to write a similar post of my own. I hope this line of thought helps you as it has me. Kim’s post can be found on her blog at: https://youcantrusthim.com/2017/03/09/eight-reasons-why-i-will-not-see-a-psychic-medium/

Download my page of reasons below as a pdf here.

In His love,

Jenny Coleman