Tag: Answers to Prayer (Page 5 of 12)

Focus on the Most Important Things

September 17, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Where should our focus lie?

I’ve been meditating on one of the verses that really ministered to us shortly after Joel’s home going:

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT) Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

It speaks of trusting a God whose ways are far beyond my understanding; who knows and loves me perfectly and strengthens me in my weaknesses.

It speaks of hope in a day when we will see Him face to face; a day when we will be made like Him and have a mature understanding of mysteries that are now far beyond our reach; a day when we will see how He has tenderly and lovingly woven everything in the tapestry of our lives together for our good and His glory.

Last week Holy Spirit reminded me that this verse is found in the midst of the love chapter. 🙂

As a young mother, I often used this chapter to measure my love walk at the end of the day. “Was I loving? Was I kind? Was I patient when ______ didn’t remember that 4 x 6 = 24? Was I long suffering when ______ left their socks in the middle of the living room the floor for the umpteenth time?”

When Joel was murdered, I found myself struggling big time with verses 7 and 8.

“Love always protects… Love never fails…”

How was my sovereign, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, and most importantly “loving” God living out “Love always protects.. and love never fails” at the moment of the shooting?

How am I now supposed to always trust, always hope and always persevere when love feels so much like excruciating pain?

How can my brothers and sisters in Christ around the world carry on living day after day through war, famine, death and persecution; so much daily pain and struggle?

Everywhere we go. Even when we “run away” to the Nashville Zoo for a break on my birthday, there are reminders of the pain and suffering around us. The family that donated the land to the zoo buried several children in their small family cemetery.

These are the answers I believe I’ve found in this chapter:

Verse 12:
1) Accept that right now I see things “imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror…”

Verse 13:
2-4) “And now these three endure: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Faith
2) By faith, believe that God is good, that He loves me so passionately that He died for me while I was still a mess, that He still loves me today and has called me to abide in His love.

Hope
3) Set my hope on the grace and glory that will be given to me at His appearing. I Peter 1:13
Romans 8:18, and 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Love
4) While waiting for that promised day, focus on the most important and enduring thing: love; His love for me and through me towards others.

Everything is hard right now. Even snapping photos of this beautiful cloud leopard at the zoo reminds me of Joel. He loved taking photos at the zoo and would often take off with my camera.

A recap of the chapter:

Verses 1-3 Without love it all adds up to nothing.

Verses 4-7 Love defined.

Verses 8-12 Our understanding this side of Heaven is very limited.

..but there’s one thing we can count on:

Verse 13: “And now these three endure: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Jesus Culture’s “One Thing Remains” kept me going in the first days and weeks after Joel’s home going.

Even when it looks like His love has failed, it hasn’t. One day we’ll see the evidence of the things we’ve believed. And even if we don’t, I would rather have believed and be proven wrong than have not believed
and be proven right.

Ephesian 3:14-20 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in Heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Doing all I know to abide in His love,

Jenny

Fighting Hope with Reality and Hope in His Love

June 26, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 3 Comments

I woke up this morning to my subconscious scheming how “next time” I’d devise a way to protect Joel. I had to tell myself, “There will not be next time. You can not protect Joel or anyone else.” It’s just too horrible for my subconscious to believe it’s true.

Last summer when the kids first started finding things to do away from home, I had to tell myself the same words, “You can not protect them. You have to let go and trust God. They are growing up now.”

Caving, swimming at waterfalls, ATVing.. talks of motorcycles.. then hearing on the news about a 19 year old who drowned while swimming too near a waterfall. Mike won’t allow Judi to have a trampoline. Two years ago.. two totaled cars ago, trusting God with their driving was a battle. I am not sure how much my heart can take.

Earlier this week, I dreamed that Joel had been in a car accident and I was rushing him to the hospital.. and believed that someone, somehow was going to be able to save him. I had to re-face the fact that he was beyond any medical professional’s help… there was no hope, no chance.

I keep fighting hope, fighting dreams with the reality of this fallen world… with the hope of Heaven and Jesus’ eminent rescue.

I am tired.. physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually..

I fight by continually going over and over the Words the Lord has spoken to me during this time. I am so thankful for them.. even the painful ones. His Word is life.

Think of Joel as having pushed ahead of you in the race..

He knows my thoughts before I think them. (and still loves me.. so thankful.)

Run with perseverance..

Try to learn to be content..

Rest.. it’s God that does the work in you

Rejoice in hope..

Repent from useless thoughts (Romans 1:21)

Jesus is a Wounded Healer..

Be strong and very courageous. (Josh 1:8 .. a foundational verse for Mike and I early in our marriage.)

My Peace I give.. (peace that passes understanding.. that gives us strength to go on.. )

Then this week:

Ephesians 3:14-19 For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in Heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I am fighting to stand firm in FAITH.. holding on by a thread.. feeling like a small puff of wind is all it would take to send me careering down the ravine.

Fighting to believe that GOD LOVES ME.. that His love is greater.. that He’s the one holding me.. that I am not alone. Praying all the more fervently for others in the battle… for the ones struggling to hold on to His Word like me and for the ones who haven’t heard.

Fighting to wait for the HOPE that does not disappoint… HIS LOVE… (Romans 5:5)

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Love,

Jenny

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

May 27, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Since Joel’s home going I’ve been doing my best to survive from one event to the next: from Joel’s Memorial Service to Christmas to New Years.. then Judi’s Birthday which I didn’t handle very well. It snuck up on me. It had always been extra joyful because for the next several months after Judi’s birthday Judi and Joel were “only a year a part in age..” and suddenly, I had to deal with the idea that that joy was lost.. and just a few days after, the one month anniversary of not having Joel with us. At times I was shaken with separation anxiety. Every day was.. still is.. an exercise of not seeing Joel as dead but alive and well in heaven. If I hadn’t had the assurance of heaven…

In the second and third month, selling Joel’s car, closing his bank account etc., all the chiropractor stuff started, Josh’s birthday… then Spring Break, Passover/Easter and Mike’s birthday all rolled into one.. then it was time to prepare for Joel’s birthday and our trip to Texas. Just listing the highlights is stressful. Thank you, Jesus, for walking with me through the fire.

After getting through Joel’s birthday/family reunion trip and Mother’s day (also all rolled into one), I finally had some space just to be and discovered that it is also extremely difficult. More of the shock is wearing off and I am feeling more of the pain of losing Joel. As I shared in my last post, finding where to turn my sad thoughts was hard work.

Looking in from the outside must be puzzling.. “Five months have gone by. Shouldn’t you be better by now?”

Balloons for Joel’s 21 Birthday

The shock of losing Joel had protected me from feeling all the terrible things that have been happening around me like I normally do. The horror of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary the day after Joel’s memorial service.. I couldn’t even process it. A suicide in a near by school, the Boston bombing and the West Texas Fertilizer explosion.. I was numb…

The tornado this past week in Oklahoma was the first thing I felt. I want to say like I used to feel.. but I am not sure if I feel the sorrow the same or different now. Then this past Friday night, when I heard that one of Joel and Judi’s friends from church, Cole, died in a motorcycle accident I just wept. He was just a few months older than Joel. The emotions are so overwhelming. I didn’t know how to pray beyond “God, help, please, help..” Then yesterday morning I heard that there were deaths in the floods in San Antonio. I feel surrounded by death.

My prayers have been weak.. despairing.. “God, help, please, help.. it’s bad.. so many are suffering.. all around the earth.. wars.. famine. God, and I know it’s only the beginning. God, please, help.. come to our rescue.. send revival.. send Jesus to take us home. Help, God, help.” I keep remembering that He isn’t slow to keep his promise to return and that He longs for all to be saved from 2 Peter chapter 3. I long for their salvation, too … and feel selfish and unhappy with myself when all I want is for my suffering to end.

I’ve felt so lost, so alone this week.. not knowing how to deal with all the pain I am now feeling that the shock is wearing away. It felt like my only two choices were to live in despair with hardly a word beyond “help” to pray or buck-up and be hardhearted. Seriously, that’s the making of an atheist.. most are brokenhearted people who feel deserted by God.. and can’t believe in a God who would allow all this suffering.

I knew that those couldn’t be the only two choices.. that both those choices were wrong.. that there had to be another choice. I am so broken that it was hard to see past my brokenness. Even though I knew better, I couldn’t see what the better was. Open my eyes, Jesus. To keep moving, I had to keep reminding myself that life wasn’t about living for myself but for God and for others.

Then a friend called, and did something I couldn’t do for myself, she loved me where I was; she listened and said that if “help” was all I could pray then that was exactly the right thing to pray.. the thing that needed to be prayed. Her words were worth more than gold to me. They set me free to hear the voice of Holy Spirit the next morning remind me to “Rejoice in hope” from Romans 12:12

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Hope was the third choice.. the choice I knew there had to be.

The three phrases were exactly what I needed: to rejoice in hope.. to hope.. to keep finding joy in Jesus over and over again while going though suffering.. to be patient in affliction.. patient.. resting.. trusting in God’s work.. and to be faithful to keep praying even when all I can pray is “help.” I texted a thank you and my revelation to my friend and she responded, “Yes, my friend you are right! Thank you for reminding me that our God is a God of hope and grace and He gives us His strength. I will choose hope too! Love you!”

I think I will be reading Romans chapter 12 all this week. Don’t miss it.

Verses 9-16 from the NIV
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Please, pray for me as I continue to learn and relearn through this suffering and pray for my family as they have to live with me.. and work through their own grief and losses. 🙂

Love,

Jenny

Thankful for Joy

May 19, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 6 Comments

I woke up this morning remembered that Joel was gone.

Holy Spirit graciously keeps reminding me gone means pushed ahead in the race.. happy in Heaven.. he is well.. I can smile and be joyful about where and how he is.

Not that I wouldn’t much rather have him here and want to get up and look in on him and make sure he got home safe from closing at Donatos (Joel, I still have to look up how to spell it. Sorry.) or go greet him and ask him how things are going, hug him, kiss him… wish him a good morning.

I have to remember that he is gone every morning. It’s not a nice thing to wake up to. Most days I don’t know what to think.. how to feel.. what to do after remembering. Be sad is the obvious choice.

I’ve been trying for days to choose to be thankful.. to find things to be thankful for. Then yesterday, I tried to count it all as lost and seek to know Christ. It’s been hard work… trying.. striving.. but I haven’t known what else to do. I’ve felt lost and alone.. praying for grace and anointing.. for Jesus to pour in His anointing oil and bind up my broken heart.

This morning was different. After I remembered that Joel was gone and what gone meant, there was a new grace. The joy in knowing that all was well with Joel in Heaven flowed over into a choice that was available to me to make. Joy was a choice and I had the grace to choose it and maybe Holy Spirit even gave me a little push in joy’s direction.

It wasn’t like the past couple of weeks where it was an exercise of my mind to find some other choice than being sad.. searching for things to be thankful for.. searching for some way to draw near to Jesus.. searching for the right choice.. for the right thing to do.

It was just there.. joy.. I could chose it if I wanted. Thank you, Lord, for grace for today.

It’s not that I haven’t had any joy since Joel’s pushed ahead.. and it’s not that I am not still sad, or that I am over missing him. It’s just that joy has been made available to me in the midst of it.. and I am thankful for it… for the rest in it today.

Love,

Jenny

It is Good to Wait Quietly

May 4, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Did you know that Cinco de Mayo is a David vs Goliath story where a weak, poor, indebted Mexican army of 4,500 men defeated Napoleon’s mighty, invasive French army of 8,000?

I’ve recently watched a relationship between two friends go downhill because one friend loaned money to another and the one who borrowed shows no interest in repaying his debt.

Watching this relationship has shown a new light on what I went through when I was praying for or “holding out” for healing from my recent experience with breast cancer.. and surgeons.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I realize now, that over time the idea of healing as a “promise”.. a promise not yet fulfilled for me.. caused a rift in what is normally a joyful, free, and naturally flowing relationship between the Lord and I.

John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Praying, “standing” on the “promises” in the Word, and believing for healing led to putting myself in a place were my attitude was that of a lender toward God as the borrower; acting as though God owed me the healing He’d promised.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

I continually find myself “doing” when God wants me to “rest” and let Him do the doing. I’ve learned to be leery of striving in the things I need to get done.. but in this case I found myself striving in believing.. in my faith. I believed I was “doing” what I was supposed to do by praying, confessing and believing.. when I should have been resting in His work.

Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

I am continually relieved when I remember that my job is to rest, to trust, to worship; His is to do or not do as He sees fit.

Lamentations 3:26 It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

Healing from breast cancer, healing from losing Joel.. is His job.. mine is to rest, to trust to lay it all down at His feet and know that He loves me and will do what is best for me and my loved ones in His perfect timing.

John 6:29 Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”

The Joy Set Before Us

May 2, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

A few pictures from 2012

Joel and Judi playing hands and foot with their cousins, Karen and Kyle.

My attempt to capture a sweet picture of Joel and Zoe’ sleeping together. Zoe woke up the moment I opened the door and spoiled my photo. Catching her on film not in a blur is a challenge. The look on Joel’s face shows that he also caught on to what I was trying to do.

Josh and Joel enjoying a little friendly competition. Love this picture.

When they weren’t working, sleeping or at school.. Josh and Joel were studying, hiking, playing guitar together or just hanging out.

Joel often helped Josh with his math homework.. Math isn’t Josh’s favorite subject.. Joel loved the challenge and was so proud that he was able to help his big brother.

This is my last photo of the three boys.. Joel was working on an English paper, Josh had just returned home from class and had something to tell Joel, James had just returned from work and had something new on his computer to show off.I love the scene.. the camaraderie between my boys.. I love that they all three chose to stay home while going to college and grow into adults together. Living, learning, playing and growing together created in them a wonderful bond.

I had a sad thought today, Joel’s birthday… I can no longer tell James or Josh to go ask “one of your brothers.” They only have one brother to go ask now.

Joel so lived and embodied this verse.. we miss him living it before us:

Philippians 2:2-4 Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

My happy thought: I had a beautiful revelation last night.. while meditating on Jesus’ description of our Heavenly Father:

Luke 15:20 So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

Just a few words into the verse.. I was overwhelmed with a vision of Abba Daddy’s face..FULL of LOVE, ANTICIPATION and EAGERNESS.. the look on His face when He welcomed Joel home.

I was overcome with tears of joy.

He looks forward to His return for us and our homecoming with the same GREAT eagerness. He LONGS for us.. to embrace and kiss us… to overwhelm us with His great love.

It was that for that joy that He laid aside all of Heaven, made Himself nothing, became a servant for us and submitted Himself to endure the terrible the death on the cross. (Hebrews 12:2, Philippians 2:6-8)

We love you, Jesus!

THANK YOU!!!

Come, quickly!

His,

Jenny

Seeing Jesus through Joel’s Eyes

May 1, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 3 Comments

One of the best things I ever asked my kids to do was to pick one verse from our daily Bible devotions, copy it, then illustrate it. It takes a lot of thought (right and left brain) to accomplish. I highly recommend you try it yourself and see what Holy Spirit might teach you.

Since today is Joel’s 21st birthday, and I always knew he had a pastoral anointing. I am going to let him preach today through some of the verses he meditated on and illustrated.

A few from the Old Testament:

We spent a long time on the Tabernacle.

See the scribbles in the cloud? They are Joel’s way of illustrating God’s power.

We’d been to visit a few caves. Have you ever been in a cave with the light out?

Now that is dark… but even there God is with us.

Like the way he used candy and ice cream as temptation.. the easy road.

Our hearts are happier with Jesus on the harder road.

A verse we memorized for Thanksgiving.
Doesn’t he have nice handwriting?

New Testament Readings:

Joel’s pushing a chair up to reach the vine.

His love and power is everywhere.

Joel is wiping my tears away.

God’s face was a mystery to

Joel when he drew this one, but not now.

Revelations 22:12 “Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me.”

vs. 17 The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost.

God in the face of Jesus.. I love that He’s sopping wet.. makes Him so human.

I think the cricket was for the locus that John ate. 🙂

Have you been guilty of trying to live on bread alone???

It’s better to go 40 days without and live on the WORD of GOD.

Have you ever wondered how Jesus knows you?

You can learn so much by illustrating your Bible readings.

Jesus’ anointing is powerful!

This one speaks volumes.

Jesus, stay with us and give us your living water.

Amen!

Let’s follow the Holy One.

Slip away and pray..

Jesus rewards those who won’t be discouraged by the crowds.

He’s a friend to sinners.. even tax collectors.

The old just can’t compare.. Law vs. Spirit.

Jesus will rescue you any day of the week.. “bah.”

No words.

.. Tears of joy.. because I know our beloved, Joel,
is so blessed to live continually in His presence..
making his home in God’s big, big house..
having the best birthday yet.

Love,

Jenny

He Doesn’t Skimp With His Traveling Companions

April 29, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Favorite Picture of Joel in the Smokys

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Heaven, Joel’s last day here, his first day in Heaven and Joel hiking in Heaven. I’ve found that most of my favorite pictures of Joel are of when we were hiking and really look forward to hiking in Heaven with Jesus, Joel, Mike.. anyone who will love Jesus and His creation with me.

Joel finding pleasure in surprising me.

I been thinking how odd it is that the worst night of my life thus far was the beginning of the best day in Joel’s life. It was the day Joel saw Jesus face to face.. the day Joel began to fully live.. really live the abundant life Jesus died to give us.. eternally.

God is so good!

Looking up.

Meditating on what Joel experienced the second he opened his eyes in Heaven and looking forward to experiencing what Joel experienced helps me keep reaching toward that day.

I started Joel’s last day here meditating on the Word, praying, and working on finishing a few songs the Lord had given me on my harp. Joel came over to visit with me while I played and I excitedly demonstrated for him how easy it was to play “Away in a Manger.” He replied, “Oh, yeah, I learned that one years ago.” .. so the master says to the ‘nube’. 🙂 He plays the guitar so beautifully.

That way!

I spent most of the rest of the day worshiping and praying with IHOP streaming and putting up Christmas decorations while he studied for his finals.

Around 10 AM the last of the Kinkade paintings we’d bought was delivered to our door and Joel helped me hang it in our prayer room. He was impressed with it and walked back and forth between it and our favorite Kinkade comparing their similarities.

Joel with two of his favorite cousins.

Each of the Kinkade paintings we bought are of road and/or river passing by a church or a cottage. They have an ethereal quality about them which I believe is what attracted us to them. Deep within, we all long for more than what earth can offer; we long for Jesus, for Heaven for things that sometimes seem intangible now, but will become eternally ours once He welcomes us home.


Hiking near a river in Arkansas

I created my first digital scrapbook pages in 2008. In each, I combined a photo of the kids with one of my favorite scriptures. They’ve hung in my Grandmother’s frames in three different houses now.

I used these verses with Joel’s photo because he loved to dance with all his might in worship and seeing Jesus in Heaven is something to dance about. We’ve always loved singing, “Better is one day in Your house..” and Audio Adrenaline’s ‘Big Big House.”

I am enjoying meditating on the part in the Message where it says, “He doesn’t skimp with His traveling companions.” Thoughts of traveling, hiking, up the road to our heavenly cottage, our place of worship near the River of Life where we will see Him face to face are good thoughts. He is with us always.. wherever we go.. a loving, faithful Traveling Companion.


Playing on mountain near by.

One of my all time favorite educational quotes is from a book called “Ourselves” written by Charlotte Mason. In it, she talks about Holy Spirit being our guide, our educator, in all we do.. in the “County of Mansoul” (the center of our hearts, souls, minds).

She says,

“The best treasures of the country are kept in the fairest of its buildings, in its churches, which are always open, so that people may go in and out many times a day to talk with God, and He comes and speaks with them. But, indeed, He walks about everywhere in the land, in the workshops, in the picture-galleries, and in the fields; people consult Him about everything, little things and great, and He advises about them all.”

He is so good!

After several more hours of studying for his finals, Joel came out for a breath of fresh air, stood in front of the Thomas Kinkade painting that reminds us of meeting our loved ones in Heaven and surveyed the work I was doing putting up the Christmas decorations. He was smiling, thankful, and full of longing. He said, “Normally it feels like Christmas.. but it doesn’t yet because I still have these final exams.”

Everyday in Heaven must feel like Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, our birthday, Sunday worship and Jesus’ return rolled into one. Some days our earthly existence just doesn’t feel like Heaven yet. We long for it, we are thankful for the preparations our Savior is making for us; remembering them brings us joy, but we still have these final exams. Leaning on our Traveling Companion and looking forward to the day we will see Him face to face will see us through.

I Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in Heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Finding Joy in Jesus my faithful Traveling Companion through every joy and trial..

Jenny

Relections on Heaven at Refection Riding Arboretum

April 23, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Warning: Lots of photos

Saturday after lunch, we went to the Refection Riding Arboretum

at the foot of Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga.

We so enjoyed walking it’s 3 mile loop which you can drive, bike or walk.

These horses reminded me of a Canadian TV show we’ve been enjoying, Heartland.

The cool spring breeze was so refreshing.

Had to get one more with the mountain in the background. 🙂

The Arboretum has a has a level 4 rating which means

it has labled at least 120 different species of trees.

Everything is colored with missing Joel now.

We could not help thinking about how much he

would have enjoyed the hike as we walked along.

He would have loved everything about it.. the beauty, the adventure, the history, the day.

Wild hydrangeas.

As I snapped photos, I wondered if Joel and Jesus went on hikes together

and if they ever had any need for photos or scrapbooks.

One room cabin with spring feed water basin.

This cabin was dedicated to John and Margret by their grandchildren with

Psalm 19:1-3

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.

Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge.

There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice is not heard;

yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.

Favorite flower picture.

I hear that the colors in Heaven are even more amazing than any we’ve ever seen.

These flowers were growing on a Florida Anise Tree

These mushrooms reminded me of our very first real nature walk together

at OP Schnable Park in San Antonio. The Lord so blessed us that day with tons

of different mushrooms, bees and mating garter snakes.

Pages from Joel’s Nature Journal

Joel was 10 years old.

We all took turns using our first digital camera.

Joel’s version of what the snakes were doing below. 🙂

We had to look up what kind of snakes they were

We were all amazed by God’s creation.

The one below was from a different walk at OP Schnable.

We went there often; there was so much to see

and it was an easy drive from our house.

We met our good friends, the Chagoyas, there just last May.

Back to the Arboretum..

We’ve been to St. Augustine. Glad we didn’t have to walk here from there.

Cherokee monument.

Joel so enjoyed taking nature photos.

Will I get to see all the scrapbooks he’s collected when I get there?

About halfway through our hike we came upon this rock.. it amazed me..

I took half a dozen photos and still could capture the wonder of it so I took a video.

There was water springing up from the rock.. it reminded me of the water God provided in the wilderness for the Israelites and these verses from

Revelation 21
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away,

and there is no longer any sea…3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying,

“Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be

His people, and God Himself will be among them,4and He will wipe away every tear from

their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying,

or pain; the first things have passed away.” 5 And He who sits on the throne said,

“Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”

6 Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.

I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.

I’ve wondered many times how spending time with Jesus will work in Heaven.

Will thousands of others be sharing my long, quiet walk with Jesus?

In Revelation 21:22 John says,

“I did not see a temple in the city, because

the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.”

I was glad when I read in Anne Graham Lotz book, Heaven My Father’s House, last night

that I wasn’t the only one who’d wondered.. and who’d selfishly not wanted to give up

the wonderful, intimate, daily, individual, fellowship that we enjoy with Him now.

Anne believes that “There will be no place in Heaven

where God is not physically, actually present!

Because He is omnipresent,

He will live fully and completely with me every moment,

as though I were the only resident of Heaven!

And He will live every moment fully and completely with

you as though you were the only resident of Heaven!

What a wonderful place Heaven will be!”

Mike noticed, while on our hike, that sometimes the path would disappear beneath

the forest overgrowth and we would have to look up ahead to find where to go next.


Mike at edge of a bamboo forest.

He said that in life we can get so focused on the here and now

that we feel lost and have to look up to find eternal perspective again.

Beekeeper hives center right.

I’ve been meditating on Colossians 3:1-4 lately.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above,

where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above,

not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

I meditated on it before.. to keep myself in check that I didn’t love earthly things too much;

now because earthly things are too unbearable.

Mike’s view.

My view.

Wild flowers and dandelions.

Yet another view.. what’s that in the distance?

Turtles enjoying the sun.

So nice to take time and listen to the heavens

and the earth declaring God’s glory.

Dogwood tree.

And for a grand finale an Azalea bush.

Looking up,

Jenny

My Family Quilt Story: God’s Story

April 16, 2013 / Jennifer Coleman / 2 Comments

I started my family quilt 12 years ago when a friend of mine lost her husband to colon cancer. He was 36 years old, in the military and had a 1 and 3 year old son.

I had prayed, “God how should I pray for healing here on earth or that he’d quickly go to Heaven?” I’d heard very clearly, “Pray for healing.” One night while interceding on the floor beside my bed, I had a vision of Jesus interceding beside me. The sicker he became the closer we believed he was to healing.. when he died we prayed for resurrection.

Days passed and I prayed, “What happened?” And God answered that it was my job to pray; His to answer; sometimes the answer would be no. And I learned that He was God and I was not.

In the trauma of it all, I decided to make a quilt of my family so they would live “forever” in a quilt. As I worked on the quilt, I prayed for help as I do for everything. I was shocked when I felt His presence helping and guiding me especially with the drawings of my family, which are far above my abilities, because in my heart, I knew I was rebelling against God’s omnipotence and wisdom.

As I made the quilt, I understood what some of it meant. I knew the tree trunk was Abba God’s hand at work in the midst of everything.. holding everything together with strength and majesty; the dove was Holy Spirit moving across the earth in power. I knew, of course, that Jesus had James in his arms. James has aspergers and being both mom and teacher to him I often worried about him not fitting into the mold, not learning how to read until he was 13 etc., but the Lord continually gave me dreams showing me that He was taking care of James and not to push him.

Most of the time I was too fearful to ask the Lord what the rest of the quilt meant. I was afraid that James being in Jesus’ arms might mean that he was going to die, but one day while working on the border, I felt prompted to ask what all the blues meant. He answered me that they were days; some light and happy and others dark, but that He would be with me through them all.

I started this quilt in the summer of 2000, but I didn’t finish it until the spring before Joel went home. Homeschooling 4 kids didn’t leave a lot of time for quilting. I think I finished the middle part the first year, but then moves came, algebra, team sports etc.; months and sometimes years passed without a stitch.

Josh, Judi and Joel on piano in front of crazy quilt.

Then we were moving again, and I decided that I was going to finish the quilt. It had been so long since I’d started that I decided to stretch Judi out to make her taller, then I finished the quilt with a crazy quilt border and hung it in our house in Montgomery.. but I didn’t like it.

We moved again to Huntsville this time and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2011, I decided to take the border apart and start over with a different design. One of the ways I deal with grief is by being creative. The Creator creating through me helps bring healing.

Then finally, I was finishing the quit a second time and I wanted to add our new puppy to my quilt, but Joel said, “No, it should be like a frozen piece of time.” So I finished the quilt without adding her in and hung it in our music room… which was in a way Joel’s room. He almost never slept in his bed and only used the room he shared with Josh as a closet.

One day, while I was visiting Joel in his room with the quilt and admiring it, Joel said, “It looks like a stain glass window.” He liked the idea, but I had a problem with the thought that it might be memorializing my family. I didn’t want anyone to think that I put my family above God.. because I so didn’t. I actually agonized over leaving it up and thought about taking it down many times.

Joel and Josh in “Joel’s” room. Now named the music room in Joel’s honor.

So knowing full well that the quilt pattern I’d used for the new border was called “cathedral window,” I argued weakly that we weren’t apart of the stain glass window .. it was a clear window bordered in stained glass, and we were outside enjoying God’s creation.. picnicking or something. He looked at me like, “Yeah, right.”

On the Wednesday after Joel had been murdered, a friend from Birmingham brought us dinner, and my mother showed her the quilt, and I saw.. for the first time more meaning in it. I saw that Joel was the one up above all of us in God’s hand, that God knew all along that the number of Joel’s days would be short and that we would be left here on earth with Jesus in our midst.

The meaning of Joel’s names: Joel “God is Sovereign,” and Manuel “God is with us” were demonstrated in my quilt. We don’t live in a crazy quilt world.. a world bordered in chaos. We live in a cathedral window world. A world designed by God with beauty and purpose. A world were God works everything together for our good.

James is still in Jesus’ arms looking up at Joel.. seeing clearly that he is in God’s hands. Josh is leaning on Jesus fishing.. for men.. for answers.. for cures for the earth’s woes.. for wisdom and direction. Judi looks like she’s in a dream world chasing bunny trails.. but the angels (our rabbit, Angel, died of breast cancer at 10 years old shortly after we moved here) are close beside her. Mike is finding refuge in worshiping while leaning on our ROCK, as am I.. as I search, study and meditate on His word and as I record what He is teaching me.

In these dark days, the one thing that gives me the light of hope is remembering the instructions God gave me early in this grief journey .. to think of Joel as having pushed a head of us in the race.

Hebrews 12:1-2 says
“Seeing that we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race that is marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning it’s shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

It’s fun to think of running a race with Joel, and of course, he would push ahead of me and win, but maybe one day, in Heaven, I’ll get a re-match. It encourages me to think of Joel up in that great cloud of witnesses cheering all of us on and I look forward to meeting him again one day at the finish line as I keep persevering in this race while keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus.

I struggle daily with either wanting to re-write Joel back into the story God is writing so skillfully.. or begging God to bring me to the end of my story where my suffering ends, every tear will be wiped away and I will hold Joel in my arms again.

I am working intentionally on my grief; asking God for right thoughts to replace my deep longings. I work purposely and methodically at turning my thoughts to asking for strength and wisdom to live each day for His glory.

Psalm 139:16 says “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

This weekend the Lord showed me through this verse that not only was the December 7th marked out for Joel to lay down his life for his friends at the birthday party .. but today and however many days there are left until I see Him were laid out for me to continue living with His help for His glory. Joel’s story was written on mine before I was formed in my mother’s womb.

The following verse (verse 17) is embroidered on my quilt:

“How precious it is, Lord, to recognize that You are thinking about me constantly.”

Glory to God, Who’s ways and wisdom are far above ours and Who thinks about us constantly!

I Peter 4:12-13
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

Love,

Jenny