Through Every Season

Tag: Faith and Breast Cancer (Page 2 of 4)

Church and Moving Friends

I made it back to church today. Yay!
It was such a great service, too.  I am so glad I didn’t miss it.
Worship was awesome!  Sitting during worship wasn’t too weird.
Pastor Carol’s sermons are always awesome.
She preached about fixing our eyes on Jesus so we can see clearly with eyes of faith.

I had wanted to go all week;
missed a women’s meeting Thursday night
because I was wiped out from shopping at Costco
and took a nap instead.

It only takes me about 25 minutes to shop until I drop.

I had a hard time finding something that fit comfortably
other than the maternity shorts that I’ve been wearing.
My stretchiest pants fit way more snugly
than they did a couple of weeks ago.. swelling.

Later, I realized that I could have worn a dress
with no waist and been more comfortable.
Good idea for next week.

I got to wear this new necklace that my friend Tonya gave me yesterday.
Thank you, Tonya. 🙂

She is one of two of my homeschooling friends
who is moving away this summer.
I’ve don’t have many friends here so
I am taking the moving news pretty hard.

 

Tonya made this necklace from a smashed Tinkerbell penny.
She is crazy about collecting smashed pennies from her travels.
 

She has a blog called the Traveling Praters, where she writes about homeschooling and her traveling adventures.

Most of the field trips we’ve attended since moving here, Tonya put together. She has the coolest ideas and I have yet to find out her secret for  finding such great places to visit.  Maybe she’ll tell us on her blog soon.

She and my other moving friend, Lee Ann, and I have similar homeschool/parenting philosophies, and have felt very blessed to have each other’s support and friendship. Lee Ann and I met while living in Florida and I eventually followed her here, where she introduced me to Tonya.  🙂

I am so thankful to have known Tonya and Lee Ann; my life is so much richer for it.  I guess it’s like the saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”

It has taken a long week to be able to say that.  Just yesterday, I was thinking about how I still haven’t fully recovered from our last move and haven’t really been fully sharing my heart with the few friends I do have here.. and how that didn’t do me any good because my heart was still broken to see them go.  I know better, but knowing and doing are two different things.

I am very thankful for all the ways we have to keep in touch these days; free long distance, e-mail, Facebook and our blogs all help to take away a little of the sting. And these two are moving to states we’d like to visit in the next couple of years, so maybe we’ll even get to see them in person before too long.

Mostly I am thankful to know that God is with them wherever they go and will lead them and guide them And has a great future planned for them and their families.

Okay, I am crying now.. but glad to have my eyes fixed on Jesus and to see more clearly with eyes of faith and not be as focused on my loss/pain as I was yesterday.

Now you know, I write so I don’t have to pay to see a therapist.

Love,

Jenny

 

Making Strides

I am feeling more energetic now that I am off antibiotics
and 5 weeks into my recovery.  Yay!

Moving from feeling happy to be alive to mad at the kids for
leaving my laundry in the dryer to wrinkle.. is a good sign.

My pet peeve meets their lack of training.. 🙂
Last week I was too weak to be mad.

I am still having to be careful not to do too much..
Trip to Birmingham and back on Tuesday
wiped me out and left me sore yesterday.

My stretches/exercises are coming along slowly.
Judi has her first real shift at the YMCA this week.
I am looking forward to going in with her
sometime soon and using a tread mill.
Not sure how long I’d last.. but at least I can get started.

I am still afraid of people bumping into me in a crowd,
so we’ll see how that goes.

Love,

Jenny

 

Mini Verse Books

I love having Bible verses with me to read when I am out and about.. 
I’ve taken mini verse books with me to Judi’s gymnastics classes, 
to pray over at the abortion clinic and to many doctor visits.  
They’ve been a great tool for re-focusing my mind 
and calming my spirit during this difficult time.

To turn a collection of verses into a mini book I first
divide my text into two columns and make the font very big.
I usually use Veranda 16.  I like Veranda for it’s clarity.
When I remember, I number the pages to help me keep them in order later.

 Next I go into the print menu and under “layout” choose
to print 4 pages per sheet from left to right.

 Then I use a paper cutter to cut each page across the middle in half.

 Then I fold each half page in half with the print on the out side.
The fold makes a very nice, thick, page edge for easy turning.
As I fold them I stack them in page number order.

 Next I design a cover on a page length wise so that it’s wide enough to
wrap around the pages and trim with a little bit of a lip left over.
I print it on card stock and trim it to fit.

 Next I use a nail to punch holes through the cover and pages for binding.
I’ve tried paper punching and drilling the holes.. the nail seems easiest.

I use this crayon holder the boys made in Royal rangers for the nail to punch into.
I’ve seen home made clamps with holes drilled into them made
especially for book binding.. maybe I’ll make one one day.

To finish up, I take some thick thread and sew it together.
I’ve been happy with how the books have turned out.
They last a long time.  🙂

Thankfulness that Fills Me with Joy Part 2

In April, I posted about the collection of favorite verses 
and confessions that I was rewriting into praise.
You can read the post here.
Now I am going to tell you what I did with them and how they help me
focus on the kind of thankfulness that fills me with joy.

I’ve been taking collections of verses and turning them into mini books
that I can carry with me in my purse to read and/or give away for a while now…
More about that in my next post..

When I first was diagnosed with breast cancer, I took all
the healing verses I had collected over the years and found a wonderful
PDF put together by Joyce Meyer on healing confessions (her link)
and made them into a mini book .. I read and researched it more
than I did the stuff on breast cancer.. I had to to keep my sanity.  🙂

This time I wanted something different.  I wanted to be able to have them
a little more accessible than in a book.. eventually I’d like to have
them hanging on the wall and have a plan for that ..
a project for when I am feeling better.. 🙂

As I re-wrote the verses. I used photo shop to turn my verses into little colored, round tags.
This was great therapy because I got to spend so much time with each verse.

Then I used this great circle cutter by EK Success
that I got at Hobby Lobby for 40% off to cut them out
and put them in this little bowl.

I took them with me to the hospital.. 
they are great.. like popping pills of joyful praise.  🙂
You are my Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, 
and Standby), who abides with me forever; John 14:16
Reading them out loud works wonders.
Sometimes I re-read the same one several times 
to make sure it soaks in real good.
I am filled with hope when I remember that Your great love never ends and that 
Your tender compassions never fail.  Lamentations 3:21-22
The more I read them the more joyful I am.
I love that I can pull them out of the bowl at random.
On bad days, I make it a point to stop and read more often than others.
 I will not be wise in my own eyes, but worship You alone and turn from evil.  
It is healing to my body and refreshment to my bones.  Proverbs 3:7-8
Love,
Jenny

Thankfulness that Fills Me with Joy

This post probably needs much more attention than I can give it today.
Last night the incision lines across my tummy started turning red..
so I am back on antibiotics which means;
I am fighting foggy brain, headache and yeast again.
Plus it’s that time of the month which makes it all a little more difficult to endure.

Since I have begun finding joy in Him,
I’ve been on the constant look out for things to be grateful for.
I am so very greatly blessed.. I have such a wonderful family..
that alone would be enough, but I have so much more,
and if I lost my family and all, I would still have Jesus with me..
and He alone is more than enough to fill me with thankfulness.

Since the beginning of my breast cancer diagnosis,
I’ve been thankful for many things;
thankful that God is still God and that He loves me,
thankful for how wonderful Mike has been through it all,
thankful that Jesus paid the price for my healing..

And thankful that things are not much worse;
thankful that they caught it early,
thankful that I didn’t have to do chemo,
thankful that I wasn’t loosing an arm or something much more dear to me,
thankful that I am young(ish) and healthy(ish) and should recover quickly.

At my last appointment in Birmingham, I met an older woman,
who had a similar surgery to what I had and had one breast that
would not heal.. 5 total surgeries on that one breast to try to correct
things.. still has a drain and is still on antibiotics..
I really have a lot to be thankful for..

This morning I started to wonder if it was right to let my
thankfulness wonder in that direction.. If it was right to take comfort
in the fact that my discomfort isn’t as great as someone else’s.

I am still praying on this..and I am beginning to realize that
that kind of thankfulness doesn’t fill me with the same kind of joy
that I get when I am thankful for example.. for God’s goodness.

Honestly, for me.. I think being thankful that things are not much
worse is a form of self pity.. and part of the problem with it
is that things can always get much worse… and that thought leaves me afraid.
I learned long ago that fear and joy don’t mix (nor do joy and anger).

So I am going to choose not to allow my thankfulness to wonder in that
direction for now.. concentrate on being thankful for better things..
hang on tight to the joy God has given me and not let anything steal it away.
(More on how in my next post.)

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.    James 1:2-4 MSG

Love,

Jenny

Found a New Favorite Movie

My Top Ten Favorite Movies
I’ve been spending lots of my time watching movies lately.. 
So i thought I’d share with you some of my favorites.
The King and I (1956) – 
My favorite movie for 20 or more years.. 
I lost count of how many times I had watched it after 39..  
“Shall we dance?”  “One, two, three, and..” 

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)
When it comes to this part of the movie, my whole world stops.. 
Danielle: It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but I have yet to learn yours.
Henry : But I should think it was quite obvious.  
…it reminds me of a meeting I had once with Jesus in a dream.
Fiddler on the Roof (1971)
Tevye: You are just a poor tailor!
Motel: That’s true, Reb Tevye, but even a poor tailor is entitled to some happiness! 
“If I were a rich man!”
Pride and Prejudice 
I don’t know which I like the best – 
I own all three:
the book, the BBC version and this one (2005)
 “Nothing is more deceitful … than the appearance of humility. 
It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast.”
Little Women (1994)
The book is way better than the movie.. but I still like the movie..
“Oh, Mother, if I’m ever half as good as you, I shall be
satisfied,” cried Jo, much touched.
The Sound of Music
I love this movie more every time I watch it.
“Fraulein, is it to be at every meal, or merely at dinnertime, that you intend on 
leading us all through this rare and wonderful new world of… indigestion?”

Ushpizin (2004)
If you haven’t seen this one, I have extra copies.. 
wonderful, wonderful movie about love, hope and forgiveness
 The Last Sin Eater (2007)
Wonderful story of redemption and salvation 
based on a book by Francine Rivers.

Bed of Roses (1996)
In this one, the couple lives together before getting married..
so have the fast forward button ready..
But I still love the Cinderellaish story.
“I noticed the other morning you didn’t order any breakfast. 
I wasn’t sure if that was because you weren’t a breakfast eater… 
or because you thought I was gonna kill you” 
And for number ten.. a movie I saw for the first time today
An Affair to Remember (1957)
I first heard about this movie while watching “Sleepless in Seattle”
and had wanted to see it since.  I loved it!  Best ending of any movie ever.
Scared the kids a bit by all my crying.
  “And all I could say was, “hello”.”

New Patio Furniture

How do you like our new patio furniture?
We got it off Amazon.  🙂

This is my new favorite place to spend the mornings and evenings.
The ceiling fans, wind chimes, ducks and the lake make idealistic.

Last night I was weary of hurting and so glad
for the little break from consciousness that sleep brings.

This morning this verse from Luke stood out to me:

By your steadfastness and patient endurance
you shall win the true life of your souls.  Luke 21:19

I am happiest when I am busy accomplishing things.
Sitting all day feels like a bunch of nothing.

I would use the word “boring” here, but I am purposed to keep
it out of my vocabulary and keep a thankful, Pollyanna attitude.

I am so glad now for past experiences that forced me
to learn to draw patience from the Lord.

And so glad to know that I can do something as important as
wining the “true life of my soul” while waiting for healing.

I really am so blessed.

Love,

Jenny

 

 

Resting Up

I’ve been getting a lot of questions.. so here is how my days have been shaping up..

I slept in my own bed almost 4 hrs. last night.. big accomplishment.  It’s super soft and I use a bunch of pillows to keep me still.. I wake up stiff and sore in different places. 

Got up, bathroom, moved to the recliner, slept 4 more hours.  The recliner is more comfortable.. but gets old.. I spend most of my day there.

Wake up, bathroom, water, bowl of rice and enjoy sitting on my back porch on my new patio furniture with the ceiling fans on, my promise Bible, and many geese and birds to entertain.

Mike comes out and spends a few minutes with me before going off to work.  I kiss him good bye and walk around the house a bit before moving back to my recliner and resting up for breakfast then a shower.  Maybe in week I’ll have enough energy to cook my own food.

Shower takes all my energy.. time to rest again.  Been riding 15 min. to acupuncture appointment then home again to spend the day in the recliner watching “I Love Lucy” and my favorite old movies.

Blogging yesterday was challenging.  Today, the computer is much easier.

Rested all of yesterday afternoon so I could go out with Mike to Chick-fil-a for dinner.  God reserved a parking space right by the front door for us.  I went straight in to sit at a booth, while Mike ordered and brought the food to the table.  It was just challenging enough. 

Today, I am hoping to go out with my mom to a small local store and get some organic vegetables.  Definitely not ready for anything as big as Walmart.  Ha.

I am not allowed to lift anything over 5 lbs. until August.  I am not allowed to unload the dish washer.. So nice to have my mom here.. wish my kids were faster than her at doing their chores..

The doctor said, be patient and give your body time to heal.  🙂

So glad I have a lap top and things to hand sew (although, I am not up to that yet).  And as always, seeing Mike at the end of my day is the highlight.

I am so blessed!

Jenny

A Good Report

God gave me so much peace the day of the surgery.  I can’t believe how well I handed it all.  Having Mike with me every step of the way has been such a comfort. 

In the pre-opt room, I learned that the surgeon’s team had been working for weeks on my case, making sure everything was as corn free as possible.  I was happy to wake up 11.5 hrs later to hear that surgery went well.. and that I had had no bad reactions.  Yay!

The week since has had it’s ups and downs.  It was such a blessing to have my mom stay 24/7 with me in the hospital.  The lortab that I had had specially made without corn gave me hallucinations so I ended up taking some not so corn free percocet instead.  Returned home from the hospital Saturday afternoon.

Sunday was a good day.  Monday another story.  Vomited all day long.  Bye,  Bye, nice, pain meds.

Tuesday, I went to see Dr. Paula Gilliam, a chiropractor, to see if she could help me with acupuncture.  Loved it.  It helped with the nausea and my post surgery lungs (risk of pneumonia) which were worse after a day of vomiting.

3 AM Wednesday morning, I couldn’t stand it any more.  One of the stitches holding one of the drain tubes in under my arm was ripping through my side, felt like a fish hook.  I went in the bathroom to take a look and sure enough it was bleeding.

My choice was to take it out right then so I could get some sleep, or to wait another 36 hrs till I could drive 2 bumpy hrs. down to see Dr. Fix during his office hrs. to have him take it out.  I had been off the drugs for quite a while at that point, which made it easy to make a rational decision.  

I was so happy once I had the first stitch snipped and drain tube out (almost did a little dance), that I decided to pull out three more.  I left the last one in that was still draining quite a bit.   Luckily for me, one of my drains had lost suction in the hospital and I knew what to do from watching them pull that one out.

My body wasn’t as happy as I was to be rid of them and I ended up even more nauseous than before.  Acupuncture to the rescue again.  Wednesday was my first good day.  I ate, I watched TV for the first time and felt half alive.  Thank you Dr. Paula Gilliam.

Today was even a better day.  More acupuncture, a good pathology report, and Mike and I are off to Chick-Fil-A to celebrate.  Thank You, Jesus!

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a really nice weekend.  Spent it working on the yard and patio.
I am actually thankful now for the little bit of damage the tornado did to our house.  We got to shop for new patio furniture.  Bought some chairs and a table with a fire pit from Amazon. I’ll post pictures when they get here.
Mike and the boys put down some new mulch and planted some impatiens.
 

We didn’t realize it until much later, but we think the storm killed our tree.  We found damage low on the trunk.. we think that it must have been blown to the ground then popped back up.

We started from scratch looking for the best tree for our yard.  Based on the direction of the wind and the location of our tree and our house we decided that we didn’t want too big of a tree.  🙂

If you want to buy plants in Huntsville, we discovered that Bennett Nurseries is the place to go. They have free BBQ, drinks, live music and a miniature train.  It’s like going to a picnic.

A very nice man there spent a lot of time with us showing us and educating us on different trees. We learned that the fact that if you dig a whole in our yard it will fill up with water might not have been too great for our tree either.  He suggested several trees that would do well there and took the time to show us grown ones in the nursery.

 

 
We got a Shantung Maple.  Isn’t it pretty?  It came with the heart already carved in the bark.
I’ll write in “Mike n’ Jenny” in when it gets big enough.  🙂
We added a special soil mix into the clay to help with the water problem.
If it doesn’t make it, we are going to try a River Birch next.
Hot puppy.  It’s in the 90’s now.  In Texas, where Judi’s been, it’s been 111.  Crazy.

We took this picture before Judi left as a last ditch effort to get a family photo.
Sun’s in our eyes.. can you tell?  🙂
We normally take family photos in October.
It turned too cold too quick and we never got a good one.

I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers.
They plus the nice distractions God and Mike arranged for this weekend
are definitely helping.  I am doing very well.  Slept 8 hrs. last night.
Just the fact that I had to pack and clean and that my mom is coming would have
normally made me crazy, but I have a mightier God-peace about the surgery, tomorrow.

I am so thankful for my life and all God has blessed me with and
so glad that He has promised to be with us in the storms,
and that He works everything together for our good.

I have a couple of extra prayer requests:
My mom and Judi are on their way.  Made it to AR … and discovered that something is wrong with their brakes.  Pray they’ll have wisdom on where to take it and favor to get it fixed quickly, and enjoy the unexpected delay.

When I went to my last Thursday to my first pre-op appointment, we were told that the cat-scan showed two spots on my liver.  They don’t think it’s related to the breast cancer, but they were too small to tell anything and want to check it again in 6 months.  It was a little hard to take in, but Mike and I both are feeling from God that it’s nothing to worry about.. never hurts to take it to Him in prayer.

My confessions for today:
By your grace I am able to glory in times of trouble, knowing that they develop perseverance,
 and character and a joyful, confident hope that does not disappoint because of the love that You have poured out in my heart through Your Holy Spirit.  Romans 5:3-5

As I get to know Christ, who called me to and by Your glory and goodness, Your divine power gives me everything I need for life, making a glorious display of Your virtue in me.  2 Peter 1:3

Love,

Jenny

 

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