Yesterday was so jam packed with doctor appointments (mine, our puppy, Zoë’s, and one for James, too), that when I woke up this morning it took me a while to realize that it was only Tuesday and not Saturday. ha ha
Blogging is going to be so much different now. Up until now I’ve only had my Mom, two sisters and one or two friends ever look at it. I didn’t have to worry much about what I said, but was still very careful to write exactly what I wanted to say and took time to re-read through everything and tried to check my grammar and everything.
The kids would complain from time to time that I spent too much time on my blog. I thought, “You should see how few post I’ve written.” And they didn’t know that when I wrote post about deep heart stuff, that sometimes I spent days praying about what I wanted to write before I even started.
Now I don’t want to let too many days go by with out updating my blog. One: because I know what it’s like to have a dear, young friend with breast cancer and to be praying fervently and to long for news.
Two: because although I really would rather just have this little journey done and over with quickly then soon forgotten, it’s probably better that I relish every day of it.. the same as I’ve learned to relish and enjoy each and every day of my life and write as much as I can, so I can remember God’s faithfulness to me.
Much of the time, the reason I write my blog has been to give a testimony of God’s goodness to my kids. They don’t read my blog. They think they know everything about me and that it would be super redundant, and they are probably right because through my years of homeschooling I discovered that sharing my love for Jesus and my life with them is what being a parent is about.. you know Deuteronomy 6 ..and being at home for school has enabled me to do a lot of that.
For example, Judi and I have been reading this wonderful book by Sarah Mally called “Before You Meet Prince Charming.” I have been soooo happy with it. If you know anyone with a daughter who is ages 12 or up, I suggest you get it for them or if you have a daughter that age, that you read it with them. It’s about purity and she has said everything I would like to say to Judi and more. Reading it with her has enabled me to share much of my heart about purity with her. One of the last things we read was about defrauding and how in dating it’s easy to lead someone on because you like the attention, how that is a form of defrauding and hurts the other person deeply.
Back to what I was leading up to.. I need to be more spontaneous now.. write and post and not worry to much about grammar, and if or not the “secret” I want share might be too personal, or what someone might think about it, or wither or not I am ready to be criticized for it, or if later I will look back and think, “That was so childish.”
So here’s my secret for today.. The last 7 or so years I have been so completely in love with Jesus and so long to see Him and to be with Him that I am so totally fine with leaving this earth that I have actually prayed more than once that I could be like Enoch who walked with God and then wasn’t. I am ready when He is..
BUT I know I STILL need my Mom and Dad and I still really, REALLY need my wonderful husband.. so even though my heart longs for Him to be ready to take me now.. I hope He isn’t so I can be here for my husband and kids and I intend to live a really long, wonderful life filled with many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, too.. AND I fully expect to be here when Jesus comes back in the clouds.
This is one thing my kids do know about me. I think about it a lot and it’s hard not to tell them because I really, REALLY love being with Jesus and I really, REALLY want to see Him coming in the clouds, and I really REALLY want to see my children happily married with lots of wonderful little blessings to call me Grams.
Time to run (not think or check my grammar),