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He Knows My Name

March 8, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Jennifer

Fair Lady

Her ways are ways of pleasantness,

and all her paths are peace.

Proverbs 3:17

Dawn

Dawn of the Day

Cause me to hear

Your loving-kindness in the morning,

for on You do I lean

and in You do I trust.

Cause me to know

the way wherein I should walk,

for I lift up my inner self to You.

Psalm 143:8

I am a morning person. I love to get up with the sunrise and spend quite time alone

with the Lord and preparing for my day. It wasn’t until recently that it dawned

on me how perfectly my middle name, Dawn, fits me. 🙂

Shortly after we moved to Florida, just a few days before

my birthday, I had an accident where I

very stupidly opened a pressure cooker to see if

the corn on the cob I was cooking was done.

The steaming hot water exploded up and caused second

degree burns on my right arm and shoulder.

An angel’s wing protected my face.

I ran to the bath tub and tried to put my arm

under some cool running water where my

melted skin looked like it was going to wash right off.

I cried uncontrollably from the pain all the way to the ER.

On the way home, I looked up and noticed that just

a couple of blocks from our house was a street named “Jennifer.”

The Lord spoke to me that each time I saw that sign I was

to remember that He knew my name. 🙂
I purposely chose to drive that direction many times.

The spring before, I had looked up the meaning

of my name and chose the verses above to go with it.

Both verses speak about being led by Wisdom.

I so need, love, and deeply desire Wisdom (Jesus).

The moment I became a mom I realized how destitute I was

without God’s Wisdom and have since continually prayed for Wisdom.

God has been so faithful to give us words of Wisdom

and to lead us though open and closed doors during this recent trial.

Yesterday, I started from scratch looking for a

surgeon here in Huntsville. I’ve liked all the doctors we’ve met so far,

but didn’t feel like we had the right one. I had on my heart one

person I felt like I was supposed to call for a recommendation.

I left her a message on Saturday and was waiting for a return call.

One thing about being a morning person is that by the time most people are

up and moving around, I’ve already been up and waiting to talk to them for hours. 🙂

Eight O’clock, Nine O’clock, Ten O’clock went by. I finally called the only breast

surgeon here in town to see if I could get an appointment with him.

He’s taking time off for the next several weeks and doesn’t

have any appointments until April (closed door).

His nurse gave me a name of someone else I might try. I called to make and

appointment with him but didn’t feel peace about it and was starting to

wonder if I should just go with one of the surgeons I had already met (no peace).

A good friend came over to visit that afternoon. I so needed the distraction

and we both enjoyed the time of fellowship and refreshment.

Just a few minutes after she left, the one lady who I felt like I was

supposed to get a recommendation from called. I can’t tell you the whole

story because I could get her in trouble, but she told me who she would go to.

And after talking to her, I knew that God had given me favor and I had found my surgeon.

By this time, it was pretty late in the day, so I didn’t waste anytime in

trying to get an appointment. I told his receptionist my situation

and asked if he had any appointments. She said he might have one opening up

this Wednesday, but she had to make a phone call to see

if she could work it out for me and call me back.

If I had called that morning for an appointment, she would have told me that

they didn’t have any openings until March 22nd. The whole day I was

impatiently waiting for a recommendation and struggling over who I should see,

God was working on my behalf to open up an appointment for me. 🙂

He is so GOOD!

I will be seeing Dr. Harriman and the nutritionalist, who didn’t have any

appointments until April, tomorrow. 🙂

Pray that I will have favor with Dr. Harriman and he will agree to do the

lumpectomy only as a first and prayerfully last step and that my appointment

with the nutritionalist will also be filled with wisdom and peace.

Isaiah 43:

1 But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
         And He who formed you, O Israel,
         “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
         I have called you by name; you are Mine!
    2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
         And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
         When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
         Nor will the flame burn you.

Love,

Jenny

Saturday’s Decisions

March 6, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Saturday morning, Mike and I got up early expecting a long agonizing, discussion over what to do. Although the doctors are proud of their 99% “cure” rate with DCIS, there are many things to take in to consideration.

First, their definition for cure is that their patient is still alive 5 years later. If they die 5 years and one day later from breast cancer, it doesn’t change their percentages. This is why it’s so important to live a healthy life style. Body, soul and spirit are tied to your health and we have to take care of them by eating right, exercising, keeping our stress levels in check, getting plenty of sleep, taking Sabbaths, loving God and taking time to allow Him to work in your life and help you have healthy relationships with others.

Second, their “cures” can cause other very bad side effects; including lung and ovarian cancer.

Knowing all of this, we sat down to pray, took communion, then got out the dry erase board that I use for homeschooling, and laid out all our options and their risks and possible side effects, and most importantly the words that we had from God so far.

In less than an hour, we had made our decision, had peace that it lined up with what God had spoken to us, and were able to lay out what we needed to do from here. Praise God! It would have been even faster, if Zoë, our puppy, hadn’t interrupted. We were so amazed that it went so smoothly, and so happy that it was over, and we had our day of rest back.

We decided to do a lumpectomy alone, and see how the pathology report comes back. We are praying that it will come back really good; showing no cancer like the 2nd mammogram. If it does, I believe it will be a testament to God’s glory. If it doesn’t, we will have to make further decisions.

We are also praying about:

*Finding surgeon here in Huntsville that I like so that I can avoid traveling back and forth to Birmingham for follow up exams
*Getting a family membership at the YMCA
*If or not we should do the vitamin C IV treatments that one nutritionalist suggested

I really liked the nutritionist/pharmacist that I saw on Friday, agreed with his approach to health, and felt like the paths that he wanted to guide me on to health were paths that God had shown me before. I will be seeing him again on Wednesday to find the supplements that will work best for me.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support. I am so blessed. This is my song for today.

Love,

Jenny

Thursday’s Appointments

March 4, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 1 Comment

Yesterday’s appointments went as well as could be expected. Your prayers and Mike’s support were a great strength to me. Thank you.

The calcifications that first alerted the doctors to the possibility of me having cancer no longer show up on the mammograms. They believe that the biopsy got them all.. 🙂

Sad thing is that they still strongly recommend the same treatments: either a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy. It doesn’t matter that they can’t see it.. “It could still be there.”

I am going to see another natural doctor this morning. Tomorrow, Mike and I will try to make a decision.

Thank you for your prayers.

Jenny

Josh’s Birthday

March 2, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 2 Comments

The weather here the last couple of weeks has been crazy;
one day warm the next rainy then the next windy and cold.

Josh loves the out doors and we thought it would be nice
to go on a hike with him for his birthday, but not in the rain or cold.
We thought of a place where the weather is always perfect: a near by cave. 🙂

We’ve driven by Cathedral Caverns State Park many times on the way to Chattanooga
and other cities east of us, but had no idea what a treasure we had so close by.

It turns out that it is the 3rd largest cave in the US

and has the largest cave opening in the world.

Most of the time I have an attitude of “You’ve seen one cave you’ve seen them all.”
I think because I was spoiled living near Carlsbad Caverns when I was young
and they are so beautiful that others have a hard time comparing.

But there was something really special about this cave.

The great room with the 45′ high ceilings amazed me.

The atmosphere was so nice, the temperature stays between

58 and 61 degrease year round, and in places you could feel a breeze.

I so see why when Jay Gurley’s wife first saw it in the 50’s

that she thought it looked like a “cathedral.”

A much more fitting name than “Bat Cave.”

One of the coolest parts for me was seeing Goliath, the largest cave column

in the world at 43′ tall and 128′ high, and learning about how

the earthquake of 1912 which caused the Mississippi River to flow backwards

for three weeks had also caused this huge crack.

Judi with her friend Kylie. Joel and Josh and another friend, Nick, looking at Goliath.

Another thing that added to the atmosphere was the Mystery River that ran through it.

I love the sound of flowing water and it makes the humidity

in the cave perfect (I love high humidity).

But maybe not so perfect for the weddings they hold there.

Jay Gurley built this bridge over it for his jeep.

In heavy rains the river floods up to 32′ above this point,

and his bridge is still standing. Crazy right?

One last really cool thing about this cave is that you’ve probably seen it before..
in Disney’s movie “Tom and Huck.” Now I want to see the movie again..
and it’d sure be nice if they sold season passes to the cave.

Jenny

Let Patience Have Her Perfect Work

March 1, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

James 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Several years ago, once a month, I would have suicidal thoughts. Nothing ever came of them. They were mostly annoying. The worst part was after while, I would wonder if I was crazy or something, then I would start my menstural cycle and find relief in thinking they were caused by hormones. Now I think what was actually going on was that my enemy was taking an opportune time to attack me. Eventually, I learned to catch on to what was going on at the onslaught, rebuked the thoughts and stopped having them. Glory to God!

At the beginning of last week, the Lord dropped the verse above into my heart. The part about “don’t try to get out of anything prematurely” stood out. I was hurting and wanted out fast. Over the weekend my heart had begun to break over my diagnosis.

Saturday Mike and I went to Nashville for a city tour which turned out for me to be the opposite of a “getaway.” It seemed like everywhere I turned something reminded me that I wasn’t whole; from driving by the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center, to the mannequins in the Country Music Hall of Fame with two perfectly formed breast (really sad, I know).

The saddest part for me was that the biggest displays for the biggest “stars” were ones who had died of drug overdoses. The displays talked about how wonderful the person was, then were deafeningly silent on how to avoid their tragic end. In the gift shop, I found myself under the old, familiar attack of suicidal thoughts. This time it came through a different open door. I prayed in the Spirit and it stopped, but my heart was still breaking.

Wednesday, I spent the day listening to more of the “Healing School” CDs by Katie Souza. Session 4 was on the healing of your soul.. exactly what I needed. One of my deepest desires has been to pray for the sick and see them miraculously recover in Jesus’ name (I’ve had just a taste) then early this year the Lord added the desire to see the brokenhearted mended. What I didn’t know was that my own heart was wounded and needed healing before I could see my desires fulfilled.

I had a dream Monday morning about Jesus coming and binding my wounds then taking me into an office where He was cleaning up a mess. I couldn’t understand how an “office” related to me until I heard the CDs where Katie quoted this verse from the AMP

Luke 11:34 Your eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye (your conscience) is sound and fulfilling its office, your whole body is full of light; but when it is not sound and is not fulfilling its office, your body is full of darkness.

The eye is the window to our soul and my soul was darkened by the mess it was in. Wednesday through Friday were spent with the Lord shining His light on and healing different wounds in my soul. At first, it was extremely painful. I was not a very good patient. I was happy to run away to a field trips on Thursday, Friday and Saturday with the kids. And I think I was trying too hard. Our part is to trust and rest in His lovingkindness.

He started with the biggest hurts like the death of my Grandmother and worked down to the smaller ones like when I was a kid and these two doberman pinchers chased me from the bus stop to a friend’s house instead of the boy who had thrown rocks at them. My body escaped unscathed, but my heart hadn’t.

I’ve since become keenly aware of soul wounds in others. Seems like everyone I talk to now mentions a wound in their soul without even realizing it. Katie said to soak the wound in the “glory light of Jesus” though worship and not to focus on the hurt but on the healer. She used the story of Moses lifting up the serpent in the wilderness as our example. Our focus has to be on Jesus lifted up not the snake bite (or in my case the near dog bite).

I knew from experience that when God shows you something in your heart or way of thinking in your mind that shouldn’t be there, it’s because He wants to fix it. I have learned to see it as an opportunity to repent and rejoice because of the good work He was about to do in me, yet last week I continued to struggle. Even going to the grocery store was painful. I dreaded the cashier’s friendly, “How are you today?” because my answer, “Good. How are you?” came with a cringe in my soul.

Finally, God reminded me of the part of Psalm 23 that says “He restores my soul.” I repeated it to myself over and over until the pain lessened. Now I can say “It is well with my soul.” with joy and peace again. 🙂

I am not sure what comes next. I had a dream that I was sitting at a small, wobbly, primitive table about to be served, but I had no silverware or plate or cup. Not the way I imagine God preparing a table. So now I am claiming the rest of Psalm 23.

5 You serve me a six-course dinner
      right in front of my enemies.
   You revive my drooping head;
      my cup brims with blessing.

6 Your beauty and love chase after me
      every day of my life.
   I’m back home in the house of God
      for the rest of my life.

I found this song today and thought it went with my week last week.

We meet with a surgeon, oncologist and radiologist at UAB Thursday morning.

Love,

Jenny

Psalm 63

February 19, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

My verse for today..

Psalm 63

1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;

My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,

In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

2-4 So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,

drinking in your strength and glory.

In your generous love I am really living at last!

My lips brim praises like fountains.

I bless you every time I take a breath;

My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
7 For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings will I rejoice.

8 My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You;

Your right hand upholds me.

9 But those who seek my life to destroy it,
Will go into the depths of the earth.
10 They will be delivered over to the power of the sword;

They will be a prey for foxes.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;

Everyone who swears by Him will glory,

For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped.

A few months ago I started gathering a collection of my favorite Psalms.

I purposely left out all the parts that said things like “God kill my enemies,” because I was thinking in the natural of the people who were trying to take David’s life.

I felt kinda funny about “editing” the Bible that way

and knew something had to be wrong with it, but justified myself thinking

that maybe pre-Jesus it was impossible to love your enemies.. and now

that we are living in New Covenant times we have grown past those verses.

I felt pretty strongly about not keeping the verses

because after learning several years ago that “Hurt people hurt people,”

I had purposely developed a habit of walking in compassion and

forgiveness towards the people who hurt me.

And I definitely wouldn’t want God to destroy anyone on my behalf… until now.

This week a friend introduced me to

“The Healing School” CD set by Katie Souza of Expected End Ministries.

And Katie reminded me that I do have an enemy.. not of flesh and blood but..

“against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world

and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Eph 6:12

I love to pray and intercede and war, but my deep desire is to worship

and sometimes war seems like an added bother. It’d sure be nice if the devil would

just admit his defeat and give up and run away with his tail between his legs.

He obviously hasn’t. There is still evil in this world and it’s up to us

to usher in God’s light and overcome the darkness.

And we can do it through His strength, goodness and faithfulness.

Worship and war are inseparable and

that is why they found are together in the Psalms.

My view of the “Destroy my enemies” Psalms has forever changed.

“Get them God. Destroy my enemies. Cut off those who seek to destroy me.

Send them to the depths of the earth. Defeat them with Your sword!”

I am hearing something like this from God:

I am His child. He claims me as His.

I am to rest in the shadow of His wings where His healing

beams are and feast on His love and goodness while He destroys my enemies for me.

He is a great and mighty warrior and in the end I am going to bask in His glory.

Jeremiah 1:8 and 20:11, 2 Chronicles 20:15, Malachi 4:1-3,

Psalms 23, 24, 36, 63 and 91

I have an appointment here on Tuesday with a nutritionist

that I hope can teach me how to take better care of myself naturally.

Then another appointment in Birmingham at UAB with a surgeon

named Dr. Helen Krontiras on Thursday, March 3rd in the morning.

We have to be there early for more mammograms and I am praying:

A. That between now and then my enemy will be defeated and I will

be completely and totally healed and the new mammograms

will shock and confuse the doctors and

I will come out of there rejoicing and the devil will be

so sorry he ever messed with me.

(and a distant) B. If mammograms show same thing as before,

God will give Mike, I and the doctor wisdom and agreement about what to do.

Thanking Jesus for His lovingkindness and for teaching me why He

wrote the Psalms the way He did.. He is so much wiser and higher than I .. 🙂

Jenny

Clarkson Bridge Park

February 19, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

This week has just been beautiful.

Weather in the high 60’s and yesterday it got up around 70.

We couldn’t stand spending all week inside so we got out and met some good friends

that we met originally in FL in Cullman at a covered bridge there.

The bridge was built in 1904.

Just beautiful.

Houston, Holden, Abbey, Judi, Joel and Zoë

Kids had a grand time hiking and playing hide and seek.

And we moms enjoyed just sitting and talking in the fresh air.

Valentines

February 15, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

We had a great Valentine’s Day.

Mike got me this beautiful hydrangea plant.

Did you know that you can take hydrangea as a supplement
and it will dissolve kidney stones?
I know from experience. Most regular doctors don’t know.

I made Valentine bookmarks (above) for our homeschool bowling party.

The bowling party was all Judi’s idea. She remembers going bowling (ages 5-9)

on Valentine’s with our homeschool group in San Antonio.

She made these beautiful cookies (from a roll).

Everyone said they were delicious.

The radiologist that I had an appointment with today called yesterday to cancel my appointment. She wants to move me to a different location. I was glad she cancled, because after all I’ve read about radiation I’ve decided not to do it.

I am waiting now to hear from the breast center in Birmingham

about new appointments with a surgeon and oncologist there.

When I talked to UAB last week, I found out that the one allergist that worked at the hospital last day was in December. 🙂 At this point I am kinda hoping that UAB has more options than were offered here. Ones that don’t include surgery would be nice.

I’ve read that only 10-25% of people with DCIS ever develop an invasive breast cancer. If I refuse to take the drug they want to give me (one of it’s side effects is uterine cancer), and refuse to do radiation, I am not sure how much surgery will decrease my chances.

And the corn I am exposed to during surgery could increase my chances of going into anaphylactic shock when exposed to corn in the future.

I’ve been reading about a supplement called Diindolylmethane (DIM) that helps fight hormone dependent cancers (which mine is). Here is a link.

Still believing for healing and lots of wisdom.

Love,

Jenny

The Blessing of the Lord Makes You Truly Rich

February 12, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

I love this verse from Proverbs

The blessing of the Lord–it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with it [neither does toiling increase it]. Proverbs 10:22 AMP

I love that God loves to make us truly rich in every way and that He adds no sorrow with it. And that there is absolutely nothing I can do to earn more love or favor or blessing. Jesus has earned it all for me. It’s all mine.

I found a great collection of healing scriptures and confessions by Joyce Meyer.

You can look at it/download it here.

Love,

Jenny

Having a “Good Day” and Spiritual Warfare

February 11, 2011 / Jennifer Coleman / 0 Comments

I Peter 3:10

Whoever would love life

and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.

To me everyday is a good day. Bad things happen sometimes, but they are still good days because God is good and He makes all things new everyday and is always working all things for my good. I never judge a day by what happens in it.

Some days are harder than others. Some days I have to press closer into God to make it through but they are still good days because His mercies are new every morning, His grace and truth carry me through each and every moment.

Wednesday night, I felt something heavy at the pit of my stomach, then yesterday there was kinda a funk in the air. Before lunch, I decided to take my laundry in my room, close the door and turn on my worship music. I have an ipod speaker system in my room and often set my ipod to play a random list of songs while I worship in my “closet.” Every time “just the right song” plays.

This time it was “They that Wait.”

One run through of that song and I realized that I had been attacked by doubt, conquered it, and was set free into joy again. Worship is a powerful spiritual weapon. I love it!

When you are worshiping, it’s easy to move beyond keeping your tongue from evil into declaring His wonders with David.

Psalm 40:5
Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.

Love,

Jenny