A couple of years ago I created a book on “Things Above” to encourage my family to look up as we travel this journey. I shared about looking up and how it has helped us in my last post. Now I am sharing the photos my parents and I took in the Smokey Mountains and the verses from my book below. Feel free to use and enjoy them in your own “Things Above” book.

John 11:25-26 Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies; and every one who is living and is a believer in me shall never, never die. Do you believe this?”

Mark 14:61-62 The high priest asked him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?” Jesus said, “I Am. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God’s right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

John 14:1-4  Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And since I’m going away to prepare a place for you, I’ll come back again and welcome you into my presence, so that you may be where I am. You know where I am going, and you know the way.
6-7 I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.

Revelation 1:3 Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.
5 … All glory to him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by shedding his blood for us. 6 He has made us a Kingdom of priests for God his Father. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

Revelation 1:12 …I saw seven gold lamp stands. 13 And standing in the middle of the lamp stands was someone like the Son of Man. He was wearing a long robe with a gold sash across his chest. 14 His head and his hair were white like wool, as white as snow. And his eyes were like flames of fire. 15 His feet were like polished bronze refined in a furnace, and his voice thundered like mighty ocean waves. 16 He held seven stars in his right hand, and a sharp two-edged sword came from his mouth. And his face was like the sun in all its brilliance.
17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as if I were dead. But he laid his right hand on me and said, “Don’t be afraid! I am the First and the Last. 18 I am the living one. I died, but look—I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.”

Revelation 4:3 The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones – like jasper and the fiery sardius, And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow.
4 Twenty-four thrones surrounded him, and twenty-four elders sat on them. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads.
5 Flashes of lightning, thunder, and voices came from the throne. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God.

Revelation 22:12 “Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done.”

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow concerning his promise as some count slowness, but is patient with us, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Philippians 2:12 Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.
13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world.
16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

Joel 2:28 ”I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.
29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.
30 I will show wonders in the heavens
and on the earth,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.
31 The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
32 And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved…

Mark 13:26 Then everyone will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds with great power and glory. 27 And he will send out his angels to gather his chosen ones from all over the world—from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.

31 Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.
32 “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. 33 Watch, keep alert, and pray; for you don’t know when the time is.

1 Corinthians 15:51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality.
54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”…
58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Ezekiel 1:25-27 And then, as they stood with folded wings, there was a voice from above the dome over their heads. Above the dome there was something that looked like a throne, sky-blue like a sapphire, with a humanlike figure towering above the throne. From what I could see, from the waist up he looked like burnished bronze and from the waist down like a blazing fire. Brightness everywhere!
28 Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking.

Daniel 7:9 As I looked, thrones were set in place, and the Ancient of Days took his seat.
His clothing was as white as snow;
the hair of his head was white like wool.
His throne was flaming with fire,
and its wheels were all ablaze.
10 A river of fire was pouring out from his presence.
Thousands upon thousands attended him;
ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him…
13 I continued watching, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. 14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.

Psalm 27 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 84:10-12 Better is one day in Your house than a thousand anywhere else! For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory… Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.

Hebrews 6:19-20 This hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure, reaches through the veil into the inner sanctuary; where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.

1 Corinthians 13:12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.

Romans 8:18 Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:25 We hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 For our light and momentary troubles are producing for us an everlasting weight of glory, far beyond any comparison. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Psalm 37:7 I will be still, trust and rest in You as I wait expectantly for You.

Revelation 21:1 Then I saw a new Heaven and a new Earth; for the first Heaven and the first Earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.
2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
4‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
6 Then He said to me, “It is finished. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give freely to him who is thirsty from the spring of the water of life.

Much Love,

Jenny

As a child, I visited a zoo where you could hand feed giraffes from a bridge. As high as the bridge arched across their habitat, they were higher still and had to stoop down to eat. Giraffes are huge like dinosaurs. If you want to see more than just their ankles, you have to look up.

There’s a wonder that has captivated me from my childhood; the wonder of looking up. Giraffes, grizzly bears, mountains, towering trees, sunrises and sunsets all fill me with wonder. They dwarf my  frame and elevate my eyes in wonder of One who created them.

Another wonder that causes me to worship is how a small, yet complete person is knit together in their mother’s womb then birthed into this world. Holding a newborn child, gazing into their eyes, watching them stretch and take in deep breaths of air fills me with wonder. Birthday celebrations are full of delight. I love making my family members their favorite foods, letting them know how special they are and how thankful I am that they are here. The wonder of them causes me to look up in wonder at our awesome Creator.

One year, when our kids were small, I was reminiscing the day that Judi gave her heart to Jesus and thought how wonderful that was, and how “Re-birthdays” should be celebrated, too. So we created our own rebirthday traditions. We made a special paper crown for the rebirthday child, read verses about the precious gift of eternal life that Jesus died to give us, talked about our eternal, heavenly home and, of course, had a special dinner with desert to celebrate. It was great fun and I wish we had celebrated more of them.

Now that we have a child living in Heaven, we have another day of remembrance. We call it Joel’s “Heaven Day” because although it was the worst day of our lives, it was the first best day of his. It was the day he met Jesus face to face. A day filled with wonder beyond what we can imagine.

Heaven Days and birthdays (and every day) spent missing someone you love are hard. For our family, it’s too sad to cook Joel’s favorite food (ever) or to eat desert or to celebrate his days, so we honor him and our Creator by turning our hearts with thanksgiving and in wonder of “things above.”

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Colossians 3:1

We bought a special candle.. well, actually a decorative chess sculpture that reminds us of Joel’s love for life and fun and of the crown he now wears in Heaven. I put a candle in it and named it Joel’s candle.

On the first anniversary of Joel’s Heaven Day, the kids were out doing their own things, and I was at a loss as to what to do to honor him. At the last minute, I remembered our rebirthday celebrations and gathered together some verses on Heaven and Jesus’ return. Mike and I lit Joel’s candle and prayed together. We thanked God for the light that Joel’s life has been to us and for his joyful way of being excited about everything (he never lost his boyish wonder) and asked God to help us to be joyful like him. We closed our prayer by asking Him to reveal the height, depth, width and breath of His love to us and to help us love each other as we look toward the day of His return; that wonderful day when we will hold Joel in our arms again. After our prayer, we read aloud from the verses and wondered at our heavenly hope. Looking up with thanksgiving and in wonder helped us on what had been a very difficult day.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

The following year I took all my favorite “things above” verses and had them printed in a scrapbook along with some photographs my parents and I had taken in the Smokey Mountains. I spent part of Joel’s Heaven Day putting up Christmas decorations much like I had the day we lost him. That evening everyone’s schedule allowed us to gather after dinner and take turns declaring Jesus’ names as we added our ornaments to the tree. (More about our ornaments here.) Afterward, we moved into the living room, lit Joel’s candle and thanked God for the light that Joel’s life has been to us. We ended our time together by taking turns reading aloud the verses in the “Things Above” book I’d created.

This turning of our hearts with thanksgiving and in wonder of “things above” has been very healing in our journey. Whenever I am feeling low, my husband encourages me to have an eternal perspective; to look up, and remember that we have a loving, heavenly Father who is working all things together for our good. Visiting the mountains, giraffes and grizzly bears at the zoo, making time to wonder at far-reaching trees, sunrises and sunsets and their Creator… all of this looking up in wonder has helped us.

I shared the pages from my “Things Above” book the year I made it here. I’ll share the verses and photos separately in my next post.

Much love,

Jenny

I have been privileged to meet and hear the stories of many bereaved parents since losing Joel. Although I would have never have willingly chosen to join their ranks, I am thankful for the bond we share, the friendships we’re forging and the things I am learning from each of them.

Weeks ago I ran across a quote that said, “A friend hears the song in your heart and sings it to you when you forget the words.” I thought it perfectly described the small group of bereaved moms who have been meeting me at Panera for a little over two years now.
Our friendship has been a safe place to be honest about hard days, to discuss how we can keep moving forward, and to seek prayer. Sharing our stories has been healing and helps dispel the isolation of being a bereaved parent.

We understand each other’s struggles and have patience for each other’s grief because we know we need it ourselves. The humble words of wisdom we offer each other is hard fought for and easier to receive.

The most healing thing for me this year has been the laughter we’ve shared. We each know the cost of and the deep sadness in the laughter. There are no expectations whatsoever that laughter is a sign that we are “over” the deaths of our precious sons. This deep knowing we share makes the pain and the laughter more bearable and frees us to laugh more deeply and more often.

Having a group of moms who are committed to following Christ and encouraging each other through such a difficult journey has been a lifeline for me. Their influence has made me stronger and wiser. I am forever grateful for them.

Two of our little group are moving to different states this year. 🙁 I created this little multi media art canvas as a small memorial depicting how God has worked through each of us to encourage the others. I hope that it will help us remember the words to our songs.
I dressed each mom in boots because the road bereaved moms walk is hard and dark and requires a determination and commitment to travel.

Our arms are linked showing the steadied, strength we’ve found in traveling this road together. The crowns on our heads depict the joy that we bring to Jesus as we hold tenaciously to His promise that although the road is dark and hard now, one day it will end with a crown of joy:

“The LORD’s ransomed ones will return and enter Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: joy and gladness will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” Isaiah 35:10

Each of us brings different gifts to the group; each sings a different song. One offers a candle of hope; another, a voracious reader, the admonition to keep trusting in the Lord; a third shows us by example how to hold on tightly to God’s faithful love towards us and a fourth has girded herself with the truth that this road we are traveling requires faithful perseverance.

The words on the faces, arms and knees of each mom are the verses that each gift embodies:

Hope: 2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

Trust: Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Faithful Love: Psalm 143:8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Perseverance: Hebrews 10:23-25 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.. encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

These three friends have shown me how to be an alabaster jar, broken at the Lord’s feet, bringing sweetness and healing to others not despite their brokenness, but because of it. Their transparency has been a healing balm to my heart. Proverbs 27:9 is the verse to the right of the canvas:

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and fragrant oils.”

Thank you, Jill, Lisa and Cyndi for giving me so many encouraging gifts in the journey. I love you all.

Jenny

I have a folder full of half written post from last year. My brain has not been very cooperative. I’ve had so much on my mind and heart that I find myself easily overwhelmed and unable to process it all.

I lost a dog, 7 friends, and had two friends lose children in the past 16 months. So many that it’s felt like I am missing the rapture. But the real rapture won’t be experienced in this slow painful way. It will be in a “twinkling of an eye.”

1 Corinthians 15: 51- 54 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed -in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

“Then” it “will come true.”

For now, death still stings.

I have heard many “cliches” meant for comfort since losing Joel.

One of my least favorites is to look for “a new normal.”

I don’t want what I am experiencing to be “normal.”

My new normal is that at any moment one of my children could be murdered.

That my world can be turned upside down again and again.

That there is an empty chair at the table,

An empty bed.

And an empty place in our hearts.

I don’t want murder to be considered normal.

I don’t want losing 5 or more friends a year to be normal.

And how is labeling living in the wake of  death  “normal” supposed to help heal my wounded heart?

When you minimalize real pain, it goes under treated and can grow into something much worse. Minimized grief can cause complications such as suppression, guilt, anxiety, anger and depression.

Jesus didn’t come to minimalize our grief. He came to experience it with us, to weep with us, and to give us hope and joy in the midst of it. That is how you heal a wounded heart.

I recently found a word I like better: a New Season.

Seasons change.

Season speaks to the temporariness of it all.

Season allows for a season of healing,

Season allows for a much greater season of Heaven.

This life is temporary. It’s a vapor. Here today gone tomorrow.

There is an eternal life that waits ahead where there is no more death, no more mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4). Our real pain can be legitimately minimized by the much greater glory it is producing in Heaven. (2 Corinthians 4:17).

A new normal on earth isn’t something I can stake my hope on.

The unspeakable joys of Heaven – that’s a New Normal I can look forward to.

This hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure, reaches through the veil into the inner sanctuary; where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:19

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5

Joel so enjoyed newness. He loved learning and exploring and discovering new things; whether it was art, music, history, nature, math, science or innovation. Each new day held a sense of wonder for him. He must be overcome with joy in the face of all the beauty and newness of Heaven he is experiencing now.

For now, in this season, on this planet, death still stings.

But I can grieve with hope in the promises of a new season in Heaven (1 Thessalonians 4:13).  I can hope, trust and obey as I am enabled by the One who has gone through suffering before me to our Heavenly Sanctuary.

Love,

Jenny